


Swan Queen Prompts

by swanqueen_vauseman



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Insecurity, Little!Emma - Freeform, Prompt Fic, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance, Swan Queen - Freeform, magic baby, magic!baby, mommy!regina, tw miscarriage, whatever you want to send me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 14:36:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5131238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swanqueen_vauseman/pseuds/swanqueen_vauseman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of Swan Queen prompts and drabbles. Anything that comes into my mind or that you guys want to send me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Met you at a wedding

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! So this will be the series of prompts and drabbles I get or that I want to write. You can send all your lovely prompts through the comments or in Tumblr in swanqueen-gives-me-life.
> 
> Here's the firts one, thank timetravelingravenclaw17 for it.
> 
> All mistakes are mine.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything

_This has been such a bad idea._ Emma thought for herself as she drank another glass of champagne and she grabbed the snack that were on the table.

Emma Swan had crashed the wedding of her best friend husband’s sister. Though Frederick and Kathryn had not invited her, Mary Margaret was her best friend and her husband was Kathryn’s sister, so they said that wouldn’t be a problem if she attended. 

Initially, she had go for the free food, but almost immediately she had regretted her decision as she realised she didn’t know anyone from the wedding apart from Mary Margaret and David. Now, instead of enjoying the free food, her purpose was on getting drunk.

Besides, she had every reason to get drunk. She had just broken up with her now ex-boyfriend; it had been an abusive relationship from the beginning, since that first time Emma had told Killian that she didn’t want to have sex with him but he just told her that it was what couples did, and so she had to endure having sex with someone she didn’t want to. 

After that, the relationship went downhill; they snapped at each other almost on a daily basis. Thinking back to it, Emma realised that the only times they didn’t fight were when they were having sex.

She didn’t love him, and she knew she couldn’t spend the rest of her life time in that kind of relationship; finally, after a particularly stressful day at her job Killian began harassing her and she summoned all the strength and efforts she had to tell him what was wrong and how they were done; she went to bedroom grabbed a bag, put in all his clothes, threw him out of the apartment and shut the door in his face, despite all his protests.

For the first in a long time, she had donde something for herself and it was the first time she actually felt like se had donde a good decision. Still, it didn’t do anything for the feeling that she would always be used or rejected or not be someone’s first choice. She guessed that living in the foster system for 17 years didn’t teach How To Be In A Relationship 101.

She gulped down what she thought to be the fourth glass of champagne, though it was probably the eighth knowing that she had lost count after the third glass. She knew that there should be at least another four glass for her to start getting tipsy.

When she was going to the bar to ask for the next glass (she didn’t even bother to put a number to it) she saw a beautiful brunette sitting alone in one of the tables. The woman was playing with her empty glass, looking more annoyed than anythings and though Emma didn’t know her, she could see a tiny bit of hurt in her features.

 

Emma frowned at the sight. How is it that a beautiful woman is sitting all by herself and there’s no one that even bothers to go talk to her. Besides, she was one of the maids of honor, judging by the dress, there was no doubt she knew many people at the wedding, contrary to Emma.

Emma went to the bar to grab to glasses of wine and walked her way towards the brunette. When she sat down next to the woman, it would an understatement to say that she wasn’t surprised. Many things were going through the brunette’s mind, one of them being _Why would this gorgeous blonde woman is approaching me?._

“It seems that you need another glass.”Emma said as she offered one of the glasses.

 

The brunette grab the glass, gave a court nod and said “Thank you.”

 

“Do you mind if I keep you company?”Emma cautiously asked.

 

“Yeah, sure.”the brunette shrugged.

 

“My name’s Emma by the way.”

 

“And I’m Regina.”Regina replied.

They started talking about their jobs, their families, the disastrous past relationships and the conversation went on quite fluently. Both of them felt a connection of sorts with the other one; neither of them could pinpoint exactly what it was, but they felt comfortable around the other one.

 

“So, um, do you mind me asking why were you sitting all alone?”Emma asked, confusion written all over her face. _How could anyone not want to be with an intelligent and beautiful woman?_ Emma asked herself.

 

Regina stiffened at the question. She could tell the blonde that it she wanted to be alone, but that would probably make Emma to go away; she could also tell her that she was there just by compromise with Kathryn or she could tell her the truth. She decided to go with the truth if she wanted anything to go on with the blonde.

 

“I…umm…I’m not good at making any friends, in fact Kathryn is my only friend; I know most of the people at the wedding and usually they don’t want to spend time with me. It’s been one of the many consequences having Cora as a mother had had. Apparently, I’m just not worthy.”Regina replied.

 

She had told Emma how her mother was overprotective and the only thing she had wanted for Regina was to be successful, and so she didn’t allow any friends to come to her house. She hadn’t experienced any freedom until her mother died in a car crash, and by then, Regina didn’t have any social skills; she met most of the people at her job, and because she wanted to have everything to be perfect, people sometimes considered her a heartless bitch; they just didn’t realise how much all the comments Regina heard in the office hurt her.

 

Emma just looked at her surprised. She didn’t understand how any of these people could call her the Evil Queen behind her back. However, Regina misunderstood her surprise face as if she was thinking that Regina was a freak; this had been too good to be true. Just as she was preparing herself for rejection, Emma stood up and offered her hand.

“Well, honestly it’s their loss. Would you like to dance with me?”Emma asked her.

 

Regina gasped almost inaudibly. No one had ever asked her that question, not even in the prom in senior year. “Why?”Regina asked shocked.

 

“Why it’s their loss or why I want to dance with you?”Emma furrowed her brow.

 

“Um, both of them.”Regina answered.

 

“Okay, first because for the little time I’ve known you, I can see that you are an intelligent, beautiful and caring woman; you’re funny, you’re sassy and you’re…just you. And to answer the second part, it’s for the same reasons. And because I like you, so say yes?”

Regina almost cried at her admission. Not trusting her mouth, she just grinned and nodded, took Emma’s hand and walked over dance floor. As if it was faith, the music change for a slow waltz, Emma took one of Regina’s hand and put her free hand on Regina’hip. They danced and the world around them started to fade, it’s was just them in that moment.

* * *

  _1 year later_

The music started playing, it was the same music that had started it all.

“Would you like to dance with me?”Emma said, mimicking the same question and posture she had had a year ago.

Regina remembered that night quite well. She just nodded, taking Emma’s hand and walked to the dance floor.

They started dancing, their first dance as a married couple. They didn’t care that all eyes were on them, they just had eyes for one another.

 

“I love you.”Emma whispered.

 

“I love you too.”Regina whispered back and laid her head on Emma’s shoulder.

 

So this is what how it feels to be loved.


	2. A miserable Queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank Evil Regal Tease for the prompt.
> 
> TW: implied rape and marital abuse.
> 
> All mistakes are mine.
> 
> Disclaimer in the first prompt.

She watched as the King danced with his oh so beautiful daughter, Snow White. Not that Regina cared, but she was sitting at the table watching at something she knew she could never had. Love.

 

Raw emotions were drawn through Regina’s face, and she knew that it didn’t matter if she started crying in that moment or if she started laughing hysterically at the situation, no one cared about her and besides, if she wanted to be weak for just that moment, her mother wasn’t there to tell her otherwise.

 

King Leopold had only proposed to her because she had saved Snow White from that raging horse and because Snow wanted a maternal figure after the death of her mother. But she didn’t want to marry someone she barely knew, someone who was nearly thrice her age and someone she didn’t love.

 

But then, Snow White had to go tell her mother of Daniel and everything went downhill. All she wanted to do was to get revenge on Snow, but right now, right in this instant at seeing how happy snow and the King seemed to be, she only longed for that.

 

After a while, Snow White had retreated into her chambers and now, the King is able to get drunk and just have fun, something that Regina dreads with all her heart

 

Because she knows how the King is when Snow isn’t around, it’s at times like this, that Regina can see the true self of the King.

 

She was hanging on the last bit of hope that the King would just ignore her for the night, so she could go peacefully to her chambers. Guess she didn’t have that kind of luck.

 

“Everyone!” She heard the King shouting. “Look at the woman I have for a wife.” He said pointing at her as all the rest of the men just laughed at her.

 

She felt tears brimming in her eyes. She wasn’t enough for the King and if that were true, then how she even thought that she would be enough for anyone for that matter? Certainly her mother didn’t think of her as enough and her father, though a very kind man, didn’t find her worth enough for him to step in every time Cora had punished her.

 

However, she was willing not to let the tears fall, she wouldn’t give the King that pleasure.

 

“I mean, really look at her. I wouldn’t be complaining if she was able to give an heir or if she was good in bed, but apparently she can’t do either of them.” And he laughed, and he was joined by all the lords and princes still there.

 

Regina didn’t say anything, she just remained quiet. She was being publicly humiliated, but she had to remain strong for she knew that this would be a very long night.

 

The King then decided to walk straight towards her, yank her away from her seat and drag her towards the center of the ball room.

 

“Why aren’t you saying anything? Aren’t you going to defend whatever dignity you have?” The King spat.

 

“I have nothing to say your Majesty.” Regina replied as calm as she could but her voice betrayed her; though she would have wanted to tell the King of what he was going to die, she knew better. Maybe, if she let him have it his way, she would avoid what awaited for her in her chambers.

 

“Do no talk to me in that tone.” The kind yelled at her, and slapped her with such force that he sent Regina straight to the floor.

 

“You are just pathetic excuse of a wife.” The King finally said. He got out of the ball room, along with everyone else.

 

Regina gave a sigh of relief, knowing that the King would be tired to go to her chambers, and just dropped in his bed after drinking almost his weight in alcohol.

 

She just stayed there, on the floor, letting the tears to finally come down her cheeks, wishing that there was a way she could get away from this life.

 

Anything seemed better than what she had lived.

 

But hope is a dangerous thing.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: when Regina was married to Leopold- he gets drunk some time in the earlier days of there marriage and angry with her, they fight or something and he starts to scream at her in the middle of a party or gathering of some sort- then he hits her hard enough to send her to the ground - show everyone's different actions and reactions


	3. You're beautiful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New prompt! Hope you all like it.
> 
> All mistakes are mine.
> 
> Disclaimer in the first prompt.

Regina was sitting under a tree pondering what to draw for that evening. It was a beautiful sunny day in April, so she could have very well draw a landscape of the park or anything for that matter, but then she saw the blonde she had had a crush on since she went to college.

Of course, doing a major in Fine Arts help to her drawing skills and had spent a lot of her free time drawing the gorgeous blonde every time she had seen her. She doubted that the blonde eve knew she existed and so she hoped that Emma Swan didn't notice the constant glances she was throwing at her.

Both of them were in the same major, though Regina was a bit of a bookworm while Emma has the one hosting all the parties throughout the semesters, which means she was the popular girl everyone wanted to be with. Regina, on the other hand, was quite shy and spent most of her time in the library or, if the weather allowed it, outside with her sketch book.

She was feeling pretty inspires to draw something and the moment she saw the blonde girl sitting in a nearby table with her friends, she decided she would draw her… Once again. It was not her fault that the blonde looked beautiful anywhere she went… or that she had a crush on her. She had at least 20 portraits of the blonde and one more couldn't do any harm, especially if Emma didn't even know her.

Unknown to her, Emma did now about the stolen glances but what she didn't know was why every time she saw the girl, the brunette was watching her, concentrated and everything and immediately started drawing in her sketch book.

"Hey, Ruby." Emma nudged her friend, who was sitting next to her. "Do you know who is she?" Emma asked.

Ruby turned discretely around and saw Regina; she didn't really know the girl, she just knew her name because there was one time when they were freshmen that they had done a project together.

"Yeah, her name is Regina. I think she is with us in Sketch class but she is really quiet, I haven't seen her talk to anyone more than the teachers. She is really weird." Ruby said before stepping back into the conversation with their other friends.

Emma only hummed in response. _But she is really beautiful._ Emma thought for herself.

_What if she is drawing me? No Swan, that is the most stupidest thought you've ever had since you were born._

_But what if…_

Emma gazed at Regina one more time before turning her head and carry on with the small talk with her friends, though she couldn't say she was paying any attention because the beautiful brunette sitting just a few feet from her was plaguing her mind.

 _Was she looking at me?_ Regina wondered when she looked up from her sketch and thought she saw Emma's gaze directed to her.

_No, of course she wouldn't. I'm just a bookworm too shy to even go to parties or to make friends, for that matter._

_If only_. Regina thought as she lowered her gaze before returning her eyes to her sketch book to finish her drawing.

She looks at the watch on her cellphone, and hurriedly she gets up because she has Sketch class and hell be frozen if she arrives late.

When Regina arrives at the classroom, there still five minutes till the class begins, so she just takes her usual seat at the front, opens her sketch book to finish the details on the blonde's portrait and waits.

Ten minutes later, the class has begun and Regina, on the inside is a massive wreck. Seriously, why the professor had make them draw a person and why the person who volunteered had to be no other than Emma Swan.

_Regina, calm down. Just pretend you don't know all her features by memory. Shouldn't be too hard._

Truth to be told, Emma had never wanted to be the center of attention, she had only volunteered to prove a theory of hers. She had her eyes fixed on a certain brunette and she was just analyzing her behavior. The whole time she was posing for the class, she noticed that not one time Regina looked up and yet, she could she her hand going all along her sketch book. It was as if she was being drawn by memory.

Meanwhile, Regina had been so entranced by drawing yet another portrait of Emma that she didn't notice the blonde looking her way or that she hadn't looked up to the blonde in an attempt to pretend she was having a hard time drawing her.

When the class was over, Emma hurried to Regina's place and looked over her drawing, while the latter was putting away her stuff. She couldn't help the little gasp that slipped out her mouth when she saw the portrait.

If hadn't been there as a witness, or the fact that the sketch was in pencil, she could have sworn it was almost as real as a photograph. Unfortunately, her gasp made Regina be self aware of who was standing behind her that the brunette dropped her notebook and it was just her luck that it opened on one of the many portraits she had made of Emma.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare." Emma apologized as she bent down to retrieve Regina's sketch.

Emma was about to give the sketch back when she saw what was on the page. It was another portrait of her. She couldn't help but to admire what she was seeing; Regina had been able to portray every emotion in that single drawing. She didn't understand why Regina had drawn her. Remembering that she was holding Regina's sketch, she extended the notebook to Regina.

"Hey, Regina right? Do you mind if I ask why do you have a portrait of me?" Emma asked, trying to sound very calm about it.

 _Because you're beautiful._ Regina thought but of course she couldn't say that to Emma. "I… umm… you…I'm sorry." Regina muttered. "I'm sorry if it makes you feel uncomfortable, I promise I won't do it again." Regina said. How could she have been so stupid? Now, she had totally freaked out Emma and she had ruined any chance she had with the blonde. _Not that I had any to begin with._

"Hey, I think you're beautiful too." Emma replied with a grin, as she had been reading Regina's mind.

Regina just looked at her shocked, with her mouth wide open. Perfect, now she was starting to imagine things.

"Umm, I wanted to ask you if you would go out with me for a coffee or something. I really want to get to know you. I mean, it's okay if you say no or whatever, I just think that we could be friends and get to know each other. I'm sorry, I just assumed you didn't have any plans and…" Emma started rambling. How was it possible that someone she had just met, _officially,_ could make her so nervous?

Regina let out s breath she didn't know she was holding and gave Emma a relaxed smile. "Yeah, I would like that." Regina interrupted her. Her answer just made Emma to smile even more.

 _Maybe, not everything is lost._ Regina though for herself as they got out of the classroom.


	4. You'll always be enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt taken from otpdisaster in Tumblr: Person A watching with a heavy heart and forced smile as Person B reconnects/reminisces with their ex. Eventually, they get up and leave, curious if B will notice. By the time Person B does notice, A has made it all the way home in tears. 
> 
> All mistakes are mine.
> 
> Disclaimer in chapter 1

They were supposed to have a fun night at The Rabbit Hole, to have a drink, to talk about everything and anything and maybe make out, not necessarily in that order, but now Emma was sitting but the counter playing with her glass while she saw her girlfriend reconnect with her ex.

 

It’s not that she didn’t trust Regina… well, maybe she did but it was not on a personal level. The correct emotion would be that she was scared. Scared of Regina leaving her, scared of not being good enough, scared that she wasn’t worth the risk.

 

Regina wasn’t paying her any attention at all, in fact she was almost completely sure that if she were to leave the bar, Regina wouldn’t notice it but there was that little voice in her head that told her to have hope. To hope that she was important enough for Regina that she would notice.

 

In that moment, Emma made a mental excuse that she didn’t want to be in the bar anymore, but in reality she was just going to prove her theory. She just hoped that one of her greatest fears wouldn’t come true.

 

She gulped down what was left of her drink, grab her coat and exited the bar, not before casting a glance towards where Regina was talking to Maleficent.

 

She remembered the day after Mary Margaret and she came back from the Enchanted Forest and she had invited Regina to the celebration at Granny’s; she remembered seeing the hurt in Regina’s face of not having anyone there for her; she remembered how even when she was talking animatedly with Archie she noticed the moment the brunette had gotten up from the booth and made her way towards the exits; she remembered she surprised look when Regina turned around when someone was calling her name.

 

She made her way out of the bar and was trying really hard not to get her hopes up; when she was almost on the street, she dared to look back, only to see a closed door and no brunette around.

 

She let the tears she had been blinking away to fall down, because there was just in front of her eyes, how she was never worth it. Because who was she kidding? Even if she had found her parents, she was an orphan for 28 years of her life, she was messed up, she had so many issues that it didn’t surprise her that another person wouldn’t notice her absence.

 

She had found in Regina a home, but something had happened along the way that made Regina realize that for her, Emma didn’t mean home.

 

The blonde made her way towards the mansion, the house that had become her home in the last couple of months, as quickly as possible, with tears running freely down her cheeks. She would just grab her stuff and get out of Regina’s life. Regina deserved the best, and if the brunette didn’t think Emma was the one, she would not step in between Regina’s happiness.

 

She arrived at the mansion, made her way towards thei- Regina’s bedroom, and started to gather her things when she stumbled upon a picture of the two of them. It was a photo that Henry had taken after she had moved in with Regina and Henry; they looked so happy. It had been good while it lasted.

 

Seeing the picture, she just broke, she couldn’t hold it any longer. She clutched the photograph to her chest, the reminder of something too good for her.

She plumped into the bed, promising herself only a minute or two to recover herself, but she was exhausted and she didn’t notice when she fell asleep, with the picture tucked safely between her hand and her chest.

 

* * *

 

 

Regina was chatting quite nicely with Maleficent, when Maleficent frowned at something Regina couldn’t see.

 

“What?” Regina asked confused.

 

“Wasn’t Emma here with you?” Maleficent replied.

 

Regina looked around and her gaze settle on the stool where her girlfriend had been sitting, she frowned even more in confusion. Where had the blonde gone? But Maleficent was practically sure what had happened.

 

“Regina, you need to go find her.” Maleficent told her.

 

With that, everything clicked. Regina’s eyes widened at the realization that she had left her girlfriend alone and neglected. Oh gods, what had she done?

 

“Yeah, I’m sorry Mal. Talk to you later.” Regina said as she got up, not waiting for an answer as she approached the bartender.

 

“Hey, have you seen Emma?” Regina asked, the perks of being that Emma was sheriff and the savior were that everyone knew her, no need to go into a description.

 

“Not in while, she left the bar like two hours ago.” The bartender answered.

 

She practically run to her house. Emma had invited her to the bar, to spend time with her, but instead she had talked with Mal throughout the night and completely forgot Emma was there. And now, she was running with the hope that Emma would still be there, because she knew the blonde, she knew about the abandonment issues and how she was feeling right now: not worth it. Why hadn’t she realized earlier that the blonde wasn’t at the bar?

 

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid._ Regina thought for herself.

 

She got inside the mansion and started looking for the blonde. Seeing that the lights were off downstairs, she went upstairs to their bedroom and when she entered, her heart almost broke at the sight. There was a bag, half filled up with clothes that the blonde had just thrown in there.

 

She felt the tears in her eyes but she made no attempt to wipe them off. There she was, curled up asleep in the bed the woman that had stolen her heart and that now, she was going to lose.

 

If it was possible, her heart broke even more when she saw the dried up tears and the photo that was peaking from Emma’s hand. She would recognize that picture anywhere; it was the day the mansion finally felt like home, the day the blonde had moved in.

 

“Emma? Emma?” Regina moved the blonde a little, so she would wake up. Her voice almost cracking.

 

Slowly, Emma opened her eyes before widening when she noticed she had fallen asleep.

 

“Regina?” Emma asked as she quickly got up. “Sorry, I must have fallen asleep. Let me just grab my clothes and I’ll see myself out. Or do you think I could stay in the guestroom for the night? Is late and I’m tired but I would understand completely if you wanted me to move out immediately.” Emma rambled the same time that she was already gathering her things and shoving them inside the bag.

 

“Move out? Emma what are you talking about?” Regina asked, panic making its way through her. This couldn’t be happening.

 

“It’s okay Regina. I completely understand.” Emma said through tears in her eyes and her voice breaking, because it was definitely not okay. “I- I understand if I’m not enough anymore.” Emma replied as she put her last piece of clothe inside the bag, reached for it and started walking to the door.

 

Regina couldn’t get pass the lump in her throat now that she understood what was happening. Emma would leave and all because of her, even though the blonde thought it was her fault.

 

Emma took this silence as a way of Regina telling her that she was right but she didn’t want to hurt the blonde woman more. She paused at the framework to look one more time at the love of her life but apparently she wasn’t hers.

 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be enough for you. I really hope you’ll be happy, even if it isn’t with me. Just remember, I-” Emma says before mustering up the courage to say for the first time three words. “I love you.” Emma mutters as one tear makes her way down her cheek. She turns around and starts to walk but then Regina calls her.

 

“No! Emma please wait! I love you too.” Regina says as she reaches for the blonde. “I’m so sorry I didn’t notice when you left the bar, I’m so sorry that I kept talking to Mal as if you weren’t there, I’m so so sorry Emma. Please don’t leave me.” Regina replied, her voice cracking, tears falling down. “You’re more than just enough, you’ll always be more than enough, please don’t leave.”

 

“Are-are you sure Regina? Because I would completely understand if…” Emma was interrupted when Regina’s lips clashed against her own.

 

“This is the one thing I’m sure. I love you with all my heart.”

 

“I love you too.” Emma says before kissing the brunette again.

 

Maybe she really had found a home.


	5. I love you baby girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina is feeling a little bit insecure about if she will be able to fulfill her role as a mother, not that they have a daughter on the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine.
> 
> Disclaimer in the first prompt

They were at the doctor’s office, waiting patiently so they could go to exam room to find out the gender of their baby. Well, to be honest, Regina wasn’t so patient, she needed to find out and Emma was just happy that everything was going okay and that she finally had someone to be with her during this second pregnancy. And that she was not in jail.

 

“What do you want it to be?” Emma asked excitedly while rubbing absentmindedly her baby bump. Five months ago they discovered that by the magic they both had, they had conceived a baby

 

 _Just not a girl._ “Umm… well… I don’t care, as long as she or he is healthy.” Regina replied with a forced smile on her face thought she hoped Emma wouldn’t notice.

 

Emma noticed this as well as a twinge of fear in those brown eyes. What was Regina afraid of?

 

“Are you okay?” Emma asked with concern in her voice and a frown on her face.

 

 _Damn it Emma, you and your super power._ Regina thought, though she wouldn’t admit this to the blonde.

 

The reason why she didn’t want the baby to be a girl was not because a girl would make her wish she was a he instead, but a fear of screwing everything up. Because what would happen if her daughter grew up to fear her as she had with Cora?

 

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking that?” Regina fired back, she wouldn’t let this insecurity shatter the relationship she had with Emma, because the blonde would not certainly not understand her fear. What if she took it the wrong way? No, she couldn’t risk that.

 

Emma, despite still being extremely worried for Regina, chuckled. “You know I would tell you if anything was bothering me right? As you would tell me?”

 

“Yes dear.” Regina answered as confident as she could.

 

Emma gave her a small smile but something was still off.

 

“Ms. Swan-Mills?” The nurse called. “If you could please follow me.”

 

They both got up from the chairs they were sitting and followed the nurse. When they got to the exam room, the nurse instructed Emma to lie down on the table and wait for Dr. Whale.

 

Regina was bouncing nervously her leg up and down. _Where was the damn doctor?_

“Regina, you do know that we haven’t even been here five minutes and you’re already bouncing your leg?” Emma said to the brunette, still with a frown. Regina was more nervous than any other of the past visits to the doctor but she couldn’t pinpoint the reason why.

 

“I know, I know. I-I just can’t wait to finally know the gender.” And Regina wasn’t lying, she couldn’t wait but she also was terrified.

 

Finally, after what felt an eternity for Regina, Whale came into the room.

 

“Okay Emma, hopefully the baby will let us let us tell their gender so if you could please roll up your shirt. I’m sure you know by now, but it might be pretty cold.”

Emma did as the Whale told her and then she grabbed Regina’s hand, while giving her an encouraging smile. Regina smiled back, because despite all her fears, she would do anything in the world to see that smile everyday.

 

Whale put the gel on Emma’s bump while switching the screen on. Emma only grimaced a little at feeling the cold of the gel but she was more than happy to find out the gender of their baby.

 

Whale moved the transducer a little bit over the bump until he settle in a place that allowed both women to see their baby.

 

Emma could already feel the tears that she was used by now. She didn’t know if they were because of the hormones or because she didn’t experience any of it with Henry.

 

“Congratulations ladies, it’s a girl.” Whale said proudly.

 

 _A girl._ Regina thought and all she wanted to do was to feel happy about it, but instead all she felt was fear. She didn’t notice that she had let go the blonde’s hand and that drove Emma extremely suspicious at the brunette’s behavior.

 

“I’ll just go to print a picture and then you’re free to go.” With that, Whale got up and went to print the picture. If he noticed the strange behavior between the both of them, he didn’t say anything.

 

After Whale left the room, Emma spoke up. “Regina, what’s going on? You’ve been acting strange all day.”

 

Regina was pulled out of her thoughts after realizing that Emma had said something. “What? No, everything is fine.” Regina lied, and Emma’s lie detector lighted up like the fourth of July. What was Regina hiding?

 

Whale came back with a picture and then they went to the mansion.

 

The ride back was a silent one, something that never happened unless one of them was angry at the other one and as far as Emma knew they weren’t fighting. Emma decided t let it go until they reached their home.

 

Fortunately, Henry was still at school so that would give the blonde plenty of time to figure out what was going on through her wife’s mind.

 

Finally, they arrived and after Regina parked the car she got up and went straight into the house, not even bothering if the blonde was following her or not.

 

Regina went up straight to their bathroom and locked herself, trying to stay calm because she knew that by now, Emma would have already noticed that not everything was fine. And she didn’t know if she was ready to tell her what was worrying her. Sure, both of them through out the course of their relationship had learned about each other’s secret but this fear, was still a secret. A secret the brunette had desperately hoped not to come true.

 

She then heard a knock on the door.

 

“Regina? Please don’t shut me out. What’s going on?” Emma pleaded. And Regina wanted nothing more than to sooth Emma’s worries but how could she if she wasn’t doing that for herself?

 

After hearing no answer, Emma gave a deep sigh and lied on their bed, while she let a few tears to stroll down.

 

Finally, she heard the lock of the bathroom click and the brunette emerging from it. Emma turned her head and she repositioned herself so she was now sitting.

 

“Regina, please talk to me. What’s going on?” Emma asked her once more.

 

Regina kneeled down nest to the bed and placed her hand on top of Emma’s bump. After what had happened in the Enchanted Forest, she never imagined she would become a mother, but then Henry came and now this baby. Her daughter. She was truly happy but she was way beyond terrified.

 

“Aren’t-aren’t you happy?” Emma asked, not knowing if she really wanted to hear the answer.

 

That made Regina’s head to look up to sad and concerned green eyes, she cupped Emma’s face with one hand and with the other she wiped away one tear that had fallen from those same eyes. “No Emma. Don’t ever think that. I’m beyond happiness with you as my wife and Henry and now this baby.” Regina knew that there was no way Emma would let it go.

 

“I’m sensing a but.”

 

“But… what if I screw everything up?” Regina asked looking down at the bump, not daring to look at Emma’s eyes.

 

“What’d you mean?” Emma asked, confusion laced in her tone.

 

“I mean exactly that Emma. She will be our daughter, what if she grows up and she is scared of me?” _Just as I was of my mother_ she added in her mind _._ “What if she doesn’t feel loved by me?” Regina said, barely containing the sobs that were threatening to escape her mouth.

 

Realization dawned upon Emma. So, this was all about Cora. Emma put a hand on top of Regina’s.

 

“Regina, you are not your mother. You are the best mother that has ever existed and I couldn’t have asked for a better mother when I gave up Henry. You are responsible for him being the kind and sweet and generous boy he is and you will do the same for our daughter. I don’t see how you could screw anything up.” Emma tried to reassure.

 

“You-you really think so?” Regina finally looked up and Emma could see still the twinge of fear but it was overwhelmed by the hope in those hazel eyes.

 

“I know so Regina.” Emma smiled at her.

 

Regina gave a small kiss on the bump and whispered “I love you so much baby girl.”

She moved up so she could kiss Emma too. “And I love you too. Thank you.”

 

“I love you Regina.”


	6. I know that look

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma know that look. The look you get when the person in front of you doesn't want you anymores, where you are no longer enough. But she never expected that it would come from the person she loved the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New idea, new prompt! Yay!
> 
> All mistakes are mine.
> 
> Disclaimer in the first prompt.

“Get out of my house!” Regina yelled at the blonde standing in front of her. Emma had not even stepped in when she heard Regina’s words.

 

“Wh-what?” Emma whispered. She had never seen the brunette so angry and so… desperate.

 

“You heard me Emma, get out of my house this instant.” Regina told her.

 

“Why? Regina what did I do?” Emma couldn’t help but wonder what had she done that drove the brunette to tell her the words she had hoped she would never hear from Regina.

 

She would have expected them from anybody else, damn it, even from her parents because they had basically shoved her through a magic wardrobe hours after she was born. But never from Regina, Regina was her home and now she had gotten tired from Emma.

 

“What _didn’t_ you do? You are always working late and the excuse you give me is that you have a lot of paperwork but I know about these not-so-secret meetings with Miss Lucas.”

 

“Regina there’s nothing going on between me and Ruby.” Emma tried reasoning with her. She indeed had been staying in the sheriff’s office until late with Ruby but it was because she had been planning to propose to Regina.

 

“Oh and I’m supposed to believe that? Really Miss Swan, what was this for you? Was it only a phase? Was it all a trick?” Regina asked her, with tears running down her face. She had never felt so betrayed and it was even worse when that feeling was because of the one person she had decided to trust.

 

Emma couldn’t speak, the lump in her throat didn’t allow her to do that. Her tears were rolling down her cheek freely, she didn’t even have the strength to fight them off.

 

“Get out of my house.” Regina said with determination and sadness in her voice.

 

If Regina didn’t want her anymore, she would do nothing to try and change her mind. She knew well the look when someone didn’t want you anymore, and she had seen the same look in Regina’s eyes.

 

Emma bowed her head and the only thing that came out of her mouth was a merely audible “okay” that she wasn’t sure she had really spoken.

 

She turned on her heels and closed the door of the mansion softly behind her. She had been truly happy with Regina but the one thing she was trying to do to surprise the brunette had backfired her and now, Regina didn’t want her.

 

She walked to the apartment she had bought after a while of living with her parents, but she had been spending so much time at Regina’s that it was as if she hadn’t seen the place before.

 

Emma stepped into the flat and put the velvet box she had been carrying for weeks now onto the first surface her hand found and then she walked straight to her bedroom as if she was in autopilot.

 

She plopped down on her bed, letting all the sobs, all the crying to come out. Because even though she had a house, she had lost her home. And it was all her fault.

 

_The first time she knew she wasn’t wanted was one day when the woman that had adopted her came for at the day care. She was three years old._

_“Emma? I need to tell you something.” The woman said. It was then when Emma saw the look on her face._

_“We are truly sorry about this, but now that we know that I’m pregnant there’s no way we could maintain you and the new baby.” The woman told her, and Emma knew she wasn’t sorry about it._

_Then another woman stepped out from a car, her social worker. Emma only bowed her head and golden locks hid her face as well as the tears that were now flowing freely._

It was the first one, but it was certainly not the last. Ever since, every time her social worker came for her to take her back to the group home she saw the same look in every face.

 

All her foster parents, the few guys she dated in high school, the couple relationships she had after getting out of jail. Every single one of them, had that same look and now, she would add one more to her collection. Regina. The woman that had stole her heart, the woman that she loved with every single cell of her being, had looked at her the same way as the woman that came for her at day care.

 

If Regina didn’t want her, why would anyone else? It was just a matter of time before her parents and Henry would realize that. Henry would still have Regina and her parents would still have baby Neal.

 

She was never enough and she would never be enough.

 

 

It had been a week since she had asked the blonde to get out from her house, and thankfully she hadn’t crossed paths with her.

 

Regina walked to Granny’s and she sat on a stool before she saw Ruby coming her way. She rolled her eyes; of course it would be her luck that Ruby would be her waitress.

 

“Hey Regina, have you seen Emma?” Ruby asked. She hadn’t seen the blonde woman in over a week and Regina had been different. Ever since she had started dating the Sheriff, she had seen the brunette happier and she would have thought that if Emma had proposed to her she would have been even happier if that was possible. But now, all Regina had was a sad and empty look on her face.

 

“So you can arrange another meeting with her?” Regina said, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

 

“What are you talking about?” Ruby asked her. She was beyond confused at the former Evil Queen’s words.

 

“Oh don’t you dare play all innocent with me. I know that you and Emma were having an affair.

 

Ruby widened her eyes when she heard those words. “Regina, the late meetings with Emma weren’t because we were having an affair. Emma loves you so much that she wouldn’t even dare to hurt you that way.”

 

“Then what were you doing? Braiding each other’s hair, gossip about what happened in town?” Regina glared at her.

 

“Emma asked me to help her plan the way she would propose to you. She wanted everything to go as perfect as possible. She wanted it to be a surprise. She would never cheat on you Regina.” Ruby calmly stated.

 

Regina only looked at her, her mouth wide opened and before she could even begin to form a coherent sentence her phone ringed.

 

She looked at the ID caller. Mary Margaret was the last person she wanted to talk right now.

 

“What do you want?” Regina asked when she responded.

 

“Sorry to bother you Regina, but have you by any chance seen Emma?” Mary Margaret asked, and her tone was enough to worry the brunette.

 

“What do you mean if I have seen her?” Regina asked.

 

“It’s just that we haven’t heard from her since last week. She called David and asked her to take over at the sheriff’s station but almost immediately she hung up. We’ve been to her flat to see if she was there but there was no answer.” Mary Margaret explained her.

 

Oh gods, what had she done? She had been so angry at the blonde that she hadn’t noticed her absence.

 

She magicked herself so now she was standing in front of Emma’s door, not even bothering to finish the call or to give give Ruby an answer.

 

Regina knocked loudly and strongly. “Emma!? Emma, please open the door.” Regina pleaded. She put her hear to the door to see if she could hear anything, a voice, something moving but all she heard has silence. Complete and deafening silence.

 

“That’s it Emma, I’m coming in.” Regina said and with a move from her hand she opened the door and came into the apartment. The first thing she noticed was a velvet box that laid opened on the coffee table in the living room. Inside of it was a beautiful ring, a gold band with a diamond on top of it.

 

Emma was really going to propose to her and now, she had probably ruined the best thing that had happened to her after Henry.

 

Without thinking any longer, she moved towards what she assumed to be the blonde’s bedroom and when she got in the sight broke her heart.

 

There she was, the woman she had broken her heart curled up in her bed, several granola bars envelopes and a bottle of water half-filled.

 

“Regina?” She heard the blonde say; she sounded tired, but not tired as if you had run half a marathon but tired of living.

That made Regina break into tears, she kneeled nest to the blonde and moved a few locks that were covering her face.

 

“Emma, I’m so so sorry. I should have listened to you; I should have given you a chance to explain everything. Ruby explained everything to me today and you have no idea how truly sorry I am.” Regina said between sobs.

 

Emma put her head back on to the pillow and turned away from Regina. “It’s okay Regina. It’s okay if you no longer want me.”

 

“God no Emma. I want you, I love you with all my heart.”

 

“Seriously Regina, it’s okay. I’ve never been enough and I would understand if you no longer wanted to be with me. I’m just sorry I ruined anything we had and that I was not enough for you.”

 

“No Emma, don’t say that. You are more than enough and I should be the one apologizing. I was so scared that you had cheated on me, I was scared that the one person that holds my trust completely would betray me and I didn’t want to get hurt so instead I hurt you and now, I have probably ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Regina said while she caressed Emma’s hair with one and with the other tried to wipe away the tears.

 

The brunette got no response from the other woman, she only heard the few sniffles that indicated that Emma as well was crying.

 

“I love you more than you could ever imagine, I cannot imagine my life if you are not in it. I want to live together as a family, with Henry, and maybe one day we can expand our little family. I want to see you walking down the ail, in your white dress or in your suit, whatever you prefer because I know that you’ll beautiful either way.” Regina said to Emma, and Emma just from hearing her, could tell that Regina was being sincere.

 

Before Regina could say another word, Emma turned around so she could face Regina and all the brunette wanted to do was to make up for breaking her love’s heart. Emma had her eyes red and puffy, her hair was a mess probably from not having a shower in a few days, her cheekbones were quite noticeable as she had only been eating a granola bar a day.

 

“You really mean it?” Emma asked in the softest and most vulnerable voice Regina had ever heard. She looked into brown eyes and noticed that they no longer carried the look she had seen in everyone in her life, but now they only showed pure love.

 

“Yes Emma. I meant every single word.” Regina took out the ring that was meant to be for her. “I know that you intended to give me this ring but…” Regina took a deep breath. She just hoped that Emma would want to still be with her, because after what happened she would understand if Emma said no. “Emma Swan, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” Regina asked her.

 

At first, no one said nothing and the room was engulfed in silence. Regina was starting to get worried because surely Emma would reject her.

 

 _You idiot, of course Emma would reject you. After all, you broke her heart and who could possibly love the Evil Queen._ Regina thought for herself.

 

Just as she was lowing the ring she felt strong hand grab her shoulders and the next thing she knew was that there were a pair of soft lips crashing hers. She responded quickly to the kiss, in fearing that it all would be a dream.

 

“Yes Regina.” Emma whispered, when they pulled apart and put their foreheads together. “On one condition.” Emma pulled completely away and turned deadly serious. “Actually, on two conditions.”

 

Regina gulped, not knowing what to expect. “That you wear the ring and that you join me in the shower.”

 

Regina laughed, and leaned forward to kiss Emma one more time; she cupped her face and said “Of course, if that’s what you want.”

 

“I do. I love you Regina.”

 

“I love you too.” They said before Regina helped Emma out of the bed, linked their hands and walk together to the bathroom closing the door behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, give kudos or whatever you want. Remember I'm still open to prompt :)


	7. To Regina, the mother of my child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New idea, new prompt. Hope you'll like it.
> 
> All mistakes are mine.
> 
> Disclaimer in the first prompt.

She walked home. Alone. By now, she was used to be alone, but it didn't make it hurt any less. At least, she had been invited to Granny's for the magnificent celebration after Emma and Mary Margaret's return from the Enchanted Forest.

It hurt. It really hurt when Emma said that she had invited her only because of Henry. For a moment, she really had thought that she was important for more than one person. Especially after Emma told the whole dinner that she had invited her.

After Emma told her that she had only invited because Henry had asked her, she had to put the strong face everyone in Storybrooke was used to, she would not let the blonde see her as weak.

Finally, she got to her house and noticed that in the front door there was an envelope and when she picked it up she felt her breath hitch, because on top of it, it was written in the characteristic handwriting of the Sheriff "To Regina, the mother of my child."

She didn't know what was inside of the envelope and she wasn't sure she wanted to find out, because it could easily be a prank or just a way to hurt her feelings even if no one knew they were doing it.

Regina entered her house and walked to the living room, she lit the fireplace with a quick move of her hand and settled down, still in her formal clothes so she could see what was inside of the envelope.

She opened it and quickly realized that the only thing in the envelope were two pages, the first one being a letter addressed to her and she couldn't possibly imagine why the blonde woman that had come into Storybrooke, the birthmother of her son and the woman she had helplessly fallen in love with would write her a letter.

She began to read it and she could feel immediately the tears welling up in her eyes.

_To the mother of my child,_

_Hi! I really don't know how to start this letter and so I'll just go along with whatever comes into my mind. I'm not even sure why I'm even bothering to write this letter because you'll never see it but I had to in one way or another say this to you, even if it's just an image in my mind._

_First, I want to thank you for taking in the child I gave birth to because you have no idea how happy I am that my son will not have to go through everything I went through. I managed to persuade the agency to where my child would go to and the moment they told me that he had already been adopted by this kind and single lady, I just knew that my son would have a home, a roof on top of his head, a bed to sleep every night and most importantly, someone that would love him._

_I had my fair share of foster homes and I'm just glad that my son that soon will become your son will not know how it feels to be bouncing from home to home. But, believe or not, I'm also glad that you are getting him, because I know what it feels to be lonely. I don't mean to assume anything at all but a single woman that wishes to adopt is not a common thing but I know that this child you're getting will be able to fill your heart in more than just a way._

_I know that I won't be there to be her mother, because being in prison and teenager is no way to raise a child, but I'm happy that you'll be fulfilling that role and that you'll get to hear his first word, the first time he'll call you "mommy", his first steps and all his firsts._

_There's just one thing that I ask of you: to always love him, no matter what._

_Thank you with all my heart._

_E. Swan_

Why would Emma give her that letter? A letter she was never meant to read. She wiped a few tears from her cheeks and put the letter behind the other page only to realize that it was a second letter but this time, the letter was addresses directly to her, not "the mother of my child" but her name.

She never deserved to read that letter, especially after all she had done to Emma, the way she treated her before the curse was broken. The logical thing to do was to burn that letter because Regina didn't deserve any of this.

The funny thing, besides having her name written on it, was that it was dated that same day. When did Emma had time to write her anything? And why would she? Regina was the Evil Queen and Emma was the savior but she couldn't deny the warm feeling and relief she felt when she saw Emma emerging from the well.

_Dear Regina,_

_I don't know what you're thinking, probably something along the lines that you don't deserve this but the thing is that you do deserve this. You deserve having Henry as your son and more importantly you deserve to be happy._

_And I meant it what I wrote in the last letter, because even though our relationship has never been on the best terms, I realized that you did give Henry all that I wrote. You gave him a home, you gave him love and for that I will be eternally grateful._

_I really don't know what else to say but to say thank you one more time and to tell you that I hope that we can be friends or something more in the future._

_Thank you,_

_Emma Swan_

More tears flowed constantly and one of them dropped on top of the letter and Regina hurried to dry it before it could stain the paper. She tucked the letter close to her chest because no one had ever made her feel that warmth inside her, not even Daniel.

Wait… Regina thought for herself as her eyes widened when remembering the last part of Emma's letter. What did the blonde mean with the words "something more"? Did she like the brunette? Was she aware of Regina's feelings for her? Or was it just the ability of the Sheriff of being eloquent as ever?

She didn't have time to wonder anything more when the knock on the door distracted her from the train of thoughts about a certain blonde.

What she didn't expect was that the certain blonde that was plaguing her thoughts was the person she found at the other side of the door.

"Hi" Emma said in the same she had when she first came to Storybrooke.

"Emma? What are you doing here?" Regina asked her with a frown on her face.

"I-I just… umm… I lied." Emma stuttered and she scratched the back of her neck because seriously, this had been a better plan ten minutes ago. Besides, she was seeing Regina, not the Mayor, not the Evil Queen, just Regina still in her power suits but with dried tears on her face.

Regina put a confused look on her face because she didn't know exactly what had Emma lied about. And the endless possibilities were just too much. Had she lied about what she had said on the letters? Had she lied about Henry wanting her to be at the dinner?

"I lied when I said that Henry wanted you there, you know at the dinner." Emma stated. Immediately, the blonde regretted the way she had answered because apparently the brunette thought that Henry didn't want her to be there. And she could see already her eyes pooling with tears.

"No, I mean…God, this shouldn't be too hard." Emma tried to rephrase but failed miserably.

"What shouldn't be too hard Miss Swan?" Regina asked in her Mayor voice, because she would not allow any more weakness to be shown to the blonde, even if she loved the woman.

"This, talking to you. You're Henry's mother, we fight on an almost daily basis and still I can't tell exactly what I came to tell you." Emma explained.

"Then, if you are only going to stand in my porch doing absolutely nothing and wasting my time, I'm going to ask you to leave Miss Swan." Regina deadpanned, because even thought she had read the letters she didn't know how to act in front of the woman that had written those letter.

"Henry wasn't the only one that wanted you to be there." Emma rushed to say before the Mayor could close the door on her face.

"What?" Regina asked.

"I-I also wanted you to be there. But I panicked back in the dinner and told you Henry was the reason I invited you. Ok yes, Henry did ask me to invite you but I had already intended to invite you and it was also the reason why I gave you the letters. Did you read them?" Emma rambled before asking the important question.

"Why?" Regina couldn't understand any of this. Yes, she had hoped that Emma had invited her because she had wanted to but she never thought that it could actually be a possibility.

"Why I wanted you to be there or what?" Emma asked in confusion, with a face that resembled a confused golden retriever. Regina found it endearing.

"Yes but also why did you want me to read the letters. I should be the last person you say thank you to." Regina stated.

"I wanted you to be there because I saw your face when we left Gold's shop. I don't know, you looked as if you would never be enough, but you also had a look in the face that told that you wanted to be there, even if it meant to deal with my parents." Emma chuckled nervously.

Emma took a deep breath and continued her explanation. "But also because I wanted to get to know you, and I thought that the celebration would be the best way but I was wrong and you left and I followed you and I panicked and now I'm here trying to explain everything to you while standing on your porch, the letters were because they were true and after seeing you face in Gold's shop I wanted you to know that I'm thankful for everything you did to Henry, adopting him and that and I thought it was a nice gesture but I was also wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me but I mean, it's not as if you would say yes because you hate me and I'm a mess of a person and you could see that in the letters and now I'm rambling and I'm just gonna go before this turns even more awkward and let's just forget any of this happened." Emma rambled while taking a few steps back.

"So, yeah I'm just gonna go." And she turned on her heels before she heard Regina.

"Emma wait!" Regina said. "Did you really mean it?"

"What?" Emma asked, because she had said a lot of things and didn't know exactly to what Regina was referring to.

"The part that you wanted to go on a date with me." Regina asked nervously, vulnerability laced in her voice.

"Yes." Emma said without hesitation. "I really like you Regina and I wanted to get to know you and do all that stuff that one person does when they like someone."

"But I'm the Evil Queen." Regina muttered, because there was no way that Emma would actually want to go on a date with her, this was all a product of her imagination or a very cruel joke.

"You were the Evil Queen and you're trying to change, absorbing a death curse only to see if Mary Margaret and me got out from the well and not your mother was a proof of that. And besides, I've only seen you as Regina. So, what do you say? Do you want to go on a date with me?" Emma asked with a renewed sense of confidence.

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes Emma, I really like you too." Regina said, even though she knew that she was in love with Emma, she didn't know how well the other woman would take that declaration; she didn't want to scare off the blonde before anything could happen.

"Is it okay if I kiss you?" Emma asked and Regina gaped at her. She only nodded, she didn't trust her mouth not to betray her.

And so, Emma took a few steps forward, Regina closed her eyes and for a moment she thought that Emma wouldn't kiss her and all of this was a sick joke, but then she felt soft lips on top of hers and she knew this wasn't some kind of joke.

"Tomorrow at 7?" Emma whispered as they pulled away from their first kiss. Regina again only nodded because this was too good to be true.

"Okay." And Emma gave her that lopsided smile that melt her heart. "And Regina? I love you too." Emma said nonchalantly as is it was an every day declaration and as if she had read Regina's mind.

And Regina chuckled because Emma had suddenly put her at ease. "I love you too Emma." She said as she closed the door and touched her lips where just a moment ago, Emma's had been.

This night had turned out good, despite the previous events. And yes, it was all of Emma's fault but she wouldn't change it.


	8. Not everything is at it seems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you LittlePenguin93 for the prompt, I'm sorry it took so long to fill the request and I hope you'll like it.
> 
> TW for rape, abuse and violence.
> 
> All mistakes are mine.
> 
> Disclaimer in chapter 1.
> 
> On with the show.

She really hated the summer. She had not always hated it, she can still remember the few times she had went to the local community pool with the other kids at her group home and would actually enjoy the weather and the pool and being in a swimsuit. But a foster family made that that feeling go completely away, as well as she was now very self-conscious of her body and pretty ashamed.

Emma groaned as she got up from bed knowing that today she had to the pool. The curse had broken, her little trip to the Enchanted Forest was over and the little Maine town seemed to get used to this world quite well. In fact, after Regina saved her and Mary Margaret from that well the people there started accepting her as Regina and not as the Evil Queen she had been; she really had changed. Everything was going pretty well except for the awful day that she knew was going to follow.

The blonde had tried to get off the hook of going to the pool as she excused herself with so much paperwork but learned that David has finish it in order to have a free day and go the recently opened pool. Even Regina had been spotted a few times there with Henry, enjoying the moments she had with her son. She had nothing to do but go with her family.

She grabbed a pair of shorts, a loose shirt she was determined not to take off while she was at the pool and the bikini Mary Margaret almost forced her to buy and that was a way to keep up the appearances that she is the Savior; because apparently, if you are the Savior you're supposed to be this perfect human being.

As Emma changed from her pajamas into her outfit for the day, she couldn't help but wince at the thought that she would have to spend an entire day at the pool looking up for excuses of why she didn't want to got swimming. She looked into the mirror and on the sides of her torso she could see the beginnings of the scars that had started it all.

Actually, no. The scars hadn't started it all but they were the reminder of what did. Her foster dad when she was barely sixteen years old had started it all; she wouldn't have gotten so many scars if she had done whatever he asked her, or if she hadn't accepted the punishment meant for the two other foster kids that were there with her. She couldn't bare see these innocent kids go through what she was going through, because no one deserved that kind of treatment, not even her but she had always preferred her own suffering than those of others.

Emma turned around while trying to keep her head viewing the mirror as much as she could and began to trace the scars the she knew would always be there.

She knew as well that the memories of the belt against her back would never leave her and every now and then would make her wake up drenched in sweat. She would never forget the look on her next foster parents, as if she was broken and could not be fix.

Shaking her head off from that train of thoughts, Emma gave a long sigh and and finally changed into her clothes and went down for breakfast.

"Hey Emma! Good morning." Mary Margaret greeted her with a smile. "Do you want some breakfast?" Mary Margaret asked her.

"Yeah, that sounds good." Emma answered as she sat on the stool next to Henry. "Hey kid."

She said as she gave him a quick kiss in his head and ruffled his hair.

"Hey mom. Excited to go to the pool?" He asked her.

Emma plastered a fake smile, one she had come pretty experienced in doing. "Of course I am." Henry squinted a little his eyes, because having lived ten years with Regina as her only mother and had taught him how to read people and that smile he had seen far too many times on his other mother's face.

However, he didn't put much thought into it and continued digging on his pancakes. Emma gave an almost invisible sigh of relief. She damn well knew that Regina had plastered the same fake smile and Henry would have sure noticed, but he didn't say anything and she was grateful he didn't.

Her father was washing his dish before he spoke. "Is that all you are taking?" David asked her.

Emma frowned, what else was she supposed to be taking? "Umm what do you mean?"

"I mean, where's your towel and the sunscreen and all you need for a day at the pool." David explained while looking at her with a confused expression.

Shit, Emma hadn't thought of that. It was barely ten in the morning and she was already exhausted from all the overthinking. "Oh that, yeah I got them in my bedroom and the sunscreen, I figured you would be taking it guys. Like, for the four of us."

Henry chuckled. "Ma I can assure you that even if we wouldn't be taking it, my mom would have." Mary Margaret gave a chuckle of her own and gave a quick nod. "You're quite right Henry.

Emma couldn't help but agree with the kid; for the past couple of years, the Charmings and Regina had come to a truce and since then, Emma had taken as her personal goal to become a closer friend to Regina and maybe, something more. But, who likes to date a broken person?

The four of them finished breakfast and doing the dishes before gathering their things and making their way towards the pool. Since it was still quite early, there were still several seats available. Emma could see that Regina was already there reading a book.

"Hey mom." Henry greeted Regina as she looked up from her book and stand up to meet her son. Emma had to stopped right there in her tracks at seeing the other woman. Regina's black top of her bikini, her sunglasses and her beach wrap were making her the most beautiful woman to ever stepped on the planet. Emma finally got out of her trance seeing that Mary Margaret and David were already way ahead of her.

She saw how they and Regina exchanged a formal greeting before settling down.

"Hi Regina." Emma said as she took a cot next to her.

"Hello Miss Swan." Regina replied and returned to her book. Yeah, she hadn't quite gotten to Regina call her by her name.

"We are still going by Miss Swan aren't we?" Emma teased and she got out her book. She could see how Regina's mouth curled up into an almost smile before the Mayor's mask got its way back.

She saw how Henry was eager to get his sunscreen already so he could go swimming as well as David putting on some on Mary Margaret's. Thankfully, her cot was right under the parasol, avoiding that way to put on her own and she hoped she would stay that way for the rest of the day.

"You're not going in?" Emma heard Regina asked.

"Umm… maybe later." Emma replied nonchalantly. Regina knew better than to push her, and so, didn't ask anymore.

After and hour or so of reading, she was getting quite bored and decided that she would put her feet in the water. What's the worse that could happen? She sat down by the edge of the pool and put her feet in the water. She had to agree that getting into the pool was appealing but her scars prevented her from doing so.

"Emma, why don't you get in?" Mary Margaret asked her from behind.

"I'm fine right now." Emma replied and hoped that her mother wouldn't push her.

"Oh come on Emma, it'll be fun." David joined his wife into convincing Emma to get in the water.

"I really don't want to guys." Emma hissed as they were getting on her nerves, and made a move to get up and go back to the cot.

David gave Mary Margaret a knowingly look and just as Emma had pushed herself up, David gave her a light push and she fell right into the water making quite a splash. Emerging from the water, Emma was on the verge of crying and the sight of her parents laughing at her didn't help at all.

She exited from the pool and stood right in front of her parents; she ripped her now soaked shirt and turned her back to her parents.

"This is really why I didn't want to get into the freaking pool!" Emma exclaimed as she heard the gasp from Mary Margaret's. She was certainly pissed off at her parents for making her do something she didn't want to as well as she had just exposed herself to them and to her son and… oh god, to Regina. The laughter died right there, and finally turned around to face her parents that were looking at her with pity. So fucking great.

"Emma…" Mary Margaret whispered. "So that's why you didn't want to get in?" She asked and moved to hug Emma but the blonde just took a step backwards.

"Yes, are you fucking happy now?" Emma replied. She moved to where her things were and avoided the gaze from Regina. She really didn't need another look of pity.

"How… what happened?" Emma heard Mary Margaret.

"Oh I don't know, foster care is what happened." Emma said, sarcasm and hurt dripping from her voice.

"But why?" David was now the one to ask. His little girl had been hurt.

"I don't fucking know. But maybe it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been shoved into a fucking magic wardrobe to fend for myself." Emma answered with tears in her eyes and without casting another glance, she grabbed her stuff and walked out of the pool and made her way to the loft.

Meanwhile, the four people left at the pool were just too shocked to react in some kind of way. Henry, who had stepped out of the pool, walked to her mom and softly asked.

"Is… is Emma going to be alright?"

Regina looked at her son with her own tears running down her cheeks. She knew quite well what felt like to be abused by someone who supposedly was meant to care for you and couldn't help the pang of quilt that traveled through her system knowing that if it hadn't been for her curse, Emma would have lived a happy childhood, away from all torture and suffering. The brunette woman stood up, made her beach wrap a dress instead of a skirt and started going after Emma.

"I don't know sweetheart, but I'm going to find out." Regina answered to her son and gave her a kiss on top of his head, Henry accepted her answer and watched as Regina went after her other mom.

She rolled her eyes at seeing the perfect statues the Charmings were. What was wrong with them? Didn't they know better than to push Emma?

"You idiots." Regina hissed when she passed them by.

She walked as fast as she could towards the loft, not even bothering to return the peculiar glances that were thrown at her as she walked down Main Street. The only thing in her mind was the woman she had been starting to fell in love with; however, the hopes of Emma returning her feelings were practically none, and now with what she had discovered of the blonde's past even less. No one would like to date someone who was guilty of that kind of suffering.

Regina practically ran all they way up to the loft and found the door wide open, apparently Emma didn't even bother to close it after her.

"Emma?" Regina cautiously asked. She perfectly knew how it felt to be exposed and that if she wanted to help Emma, she would have to approach very carefully; the last thing she wanted was for Emma to run away.

Regina heard the sniffling coming from upstairs and made her way to Emma's bedroom. When she looked inside, she didn't know what to think: all Emma's clothes were scattered throughout the floor and the bed and a suitcase was positioned on top of it.

"Regina? What are you doing here?" Emma questioned as she merged from the closet.

"I came to check on you. Do you want to talk about it?" Regina asked, because she knew that only if Emma wanted to talk about what had happened that got her those scars, she would open herself to another person. Regina only hoped that Emma trusted her to do just that.

Emma gave a dry chuckle and sat down on the mattress. "Why would you even care?"

Regina couldn't believe the self-loathing; she was just realizing the crappy childhood Emma had had and that it was all the result of her seek of revenge and a happy ending.

"Because believe or not dear, I've had had my fair share of bad experiences if you want to call them that. And I do care about you." Regina answered and she hoped that this would prompt Emma to talk.

It certainly did the trick. Emma let the tears fall down freely as sobs were the only sound in the whole apartment. "You know that I grew in the system, being bounced from house to house and from group home to group home. I never really had a place to call a home. Some of them were better than others and some of them were really bad. I don't even know how the foster parents from those homes were even able to convince the government that they were fit to foster a child, even less two or more." Emma started her story.

"It was during one of those homes that I first fell disgusted of myself. I had been starved out, threatened to kick me out but nothing like that house. I was sixteen years old and I was the oldest in that home, so I felt like it was my responsibility to protect the other two children that were there with me. The foster father lived with a liquor bottle everywhere he went, and the times that he would come to the house completely wasted were the worst. If you bother him in any way, you would know the pain from the metal buckle of a belt." Emma explained as she tried to control her sniffling, she didn't dare to look at Regina but if she had she would have seen tears and a look of understanding.

"I would often try to convince him of hitting me instead of the younger children, no one should ever feel that pain. It became my routine, it was all I knew for a time, but one time he came home and I was my room reading something in my bed when he barged in. The foster mother wasn't even in the house so there was little he couldn't do. It was the first time I really experienced being frightened to death; he had a glare, I don't know, I just knew that it would be a long night. He started advancing and started unzipping his pants and…" Emma felt her throat closing at the memory and more sobs came out of her mouth. "The bastard couldn't keep his hands from a sixteen-year-old. It was like that for another year before I've had had enough and when he walked to me, all I saw was red and before I knew what was happening my fist had connected with her mouth and I just started hitting him as hard as I could. Just then, the foster mother came in and called the police."

"Please tell me they arrested him." Regina whispered.

Emma chuckled. "Of course not, when you bounce from home to home in the system you're known as a problematic child, so if you're involved in any kind of violence they are not going to believe you. That's how I got myself in jail; a month later I discovered that I was pregnant and that's why Henry was born in jail."

Regina felt her heart break, if she hadn't cast the curse Emma would have never known that kind of pain. But before she could say anything, Emma started talking again. "I'm just glad that he had you as a mother, because he never knew what the system was like, he had a home, a mother who loves him and I will forever be grateful." Emma finished and it was just then that she realized that the sobs she had been hearing where no longer hers, they were Regina's.

"Regina?" Emma asked with a confused frown.

"I'm so so sorry Emma, I didn't know. You're so brave and so amazing because even though you suffered as much or even more as me when you were a child, you still managed to be successful person and loved and cared about. I'm so sorry." Regina replied with a raspy voice from crying, and before she could analyze anything, she engulfed Emma in a hug.

"How could you say that? I'm a mess Regina." Emma rejected the compliments and pulled away from the hug and started gathering her clothed and shoving them into the suitcase. "You should really go."

Regina noticed the blonde's actions. "What are you doing?"

"What does it seems like?" Emma said sarcastically and continued packing.

"No! You can't just leave, you can't just leave Henry. Why are you doing this?" Regina yelled, she couldn't understand why the other woman was leaving. If all she had searched for was in Storybrooke, why would she leave just now?

Emma turned to Regina. "Because no one likes to keep broken things." Emma yelled back.

They stood like that, in an engulfing silence before Regina took a step forward and cupped the blonde's cheeks. "I do." Regina whispered and leaned so she could kiss Emma. There goes to nothing. She had suspected that the blonde could return her feelings, and it was the only way she could think of making Emma to stay. If Emma didn't feel the same, she would have her heart broken and maybe lose Emma as a friend but Emma needed to know that there was at least one person that understood her and that loved her.

Emma's brain took a few seconds to realize what was happening, but after that she closed her eyes and let herself be consumed by that kiss and started to move her lips and respond to the kiss.

They pulled apart with a shy smile on their faces as if they were teenagers. "Please stay." Regina begged.

"Okay." Was Emma's solely response, she didn't know where this was headed to, but she wanted to discover with Regina. Today, a great weight had been lifted from her back and both women knew that they were starting finally to heal.

What they didn't know but would soon be discovered, that they had finally found their happy ending.


	9. I love you, my princess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I know I haven't been updating anything for a long time but school is just a complete chaos that I'm trying to deal with. This isn't a SQ story per se, it's a little ficlet of Mommy!Regina and Little!Emma that I couldn't get out of my head. It's just fluff with just a tad of angst, because why not? I hope you like it.
> 
> On with the show.

The doorbell rang right at ten in the morning. Regina had been up as early as six in the morning not being able to catch any more sleep. Her whole body was full with anticipation and excitement. Today, today she was becoming a mother and she couldn't be any happier.

For two years, she had been waiting to get cleared as a foster mom and when two years later the social worker told her of an eight-year-old girl that needed a home, she was more than happy to comply. The social worker always so cautious, gave her the file and if she thought there was a chance she was going to say no, seeing the picture of little Emma had taken any doubt out of her system.

Besides, she was not going to become one more disappointment in this girl's life. The file was full with documents saying how Emma had been bouncing from home to home from the very age of three.

So when she was approaching the door, the smile on her face could lit the whole world. She opened the door and was met with the social worker who was holding with one hand all the files and with the other, a tiny pale hand that belonged to a little girl with her head bowed, golden locks covering her face, with a little backpack on her back.

"Miss Mills? Here's your foster daughter, Emma Swan. Emma, can you say hi to Miss Mills?" The social worker asked.

"Hello, Miss Mills." Emma whispered, but she put her head up, she had learnt that if you didn't look right in the eyes of the other person, you were going to be punished. "You have a very nice home." She also learnt that it was imperative to compliment every house you got to, there would be a better chance that they kept you.

Regina kneeled in front of the girl. "Thank you very much Emma, and you can call me Regina, is that alright with you?" Regina asked, while she put a golden lock behind on of her ears.

"Yes Miss Mills, I'm sorry, yes Regina." Emma answered, and a deep blush covered her face because she had just committed her first mistake.

Regina looked at her daughter and thought what had the girl gone through to make her correct herself, even when no one was telling her that she had done something wrong.

"Would you like to see your room?" Regina asked, in an attempt to make the girl more comfortable.

"I get my own room?" Emma asked with surprise in her voice. She had always had to share her room with other foster brothers and sisters.

"Yes Emma, you get your own room. Why don't you go to the living room and wait for me while I finish signing up all the paperwork?" Regina said with a soft smile on her face.

Emma nodded and walked to where Regina had signaled that there was the living room.

"Miss Mills, I just need you to sign this and then we're done." The social worker said, handing her a paper and she signed whatever the paper said; she had already read them and she had no objections with what they said.

"Are you sure she is eight years old?" Regina couldn't help but ask. She had seen other eight-year-old kids and they looked taller than Emma was right now.

The social worker looked at her with an apologetic look. "Yes, she is eight-years-old. Some homes, well, let's just say that they weren't the best. Good luck Miss Mills." The social worker said goodbye and walked away. Regina frowned at that and closed the door, why would she need luck? Emma seemed like a very sweet girl and very proper for her age.

She went back to where Emma was waiting. "Emma?" Regina said and that made the girl's head snap to where the sound was coming from, Emma was sitting on the couch with her back as straight as only a member of the royal family knew.

Emma immediately got up. "I'm sorry, I should have asked if I could sit on the couch." Emma looked down, as if ashamed of what she had done.

Regina kneeled once again in front of the girl. "Emma, you are now living here, you can sit wherever you want." Regina said with a reassuring smile on her face. "Why don't we go up to check out your room." Emma looked up at the question and nodded. She gave Regina small but genuine smile. So far, this was the best foster home ever and she was determined not to ruin her chance of getting adopted.

They went up the stairs and check out the last bedroom on the right side of the corridor. Regina opened the door and let Emma in first. Then she remembered, the social worker hadn't given her Emma's possessions, she would have to call her. "Oh Emma, I forgot to ask your social worker for your belongings, get settle in while I call her." Regina was about to leave the room when Emma spoke up.

"They're in my backpack." Emma said. Regina looked at her with confusion written in her face. "What do you mean you have it all in your backpack? All your clothes, all your toys?"

"I don't have any toys, and all my clothes were borrowed. I only have a few shirts and one pants. But I can do with them." Emma answered, she didn't want to be a burden for Regina, she seemed really nice; and besides, she knew how to do laundry and she could do with the few clothes she had.

"Of course not Emma, tell you what. After breakfast, we'll go downtown and buy you some new clothes." Regina said. She had discovered more about Emma in the few moments she had known her than what she read in her file. Every story has two sides and Emma's side had been seriously overlooked.

"Really?" Emma couldn't help but ask.

"Yes Emma. Now, what do you want for breakfast?"

"Can we have pancakes? I mean, it's okay if you want another thing." Emma cautiously said.

"Pancakes are a very good idea. Now, come on." Regina said, while holding her hand so Emma could grab it. Emma did and they went downstairs; they had breakfast while Regina asked for what Emma liked, what was her favorite subject at school and so on. Regina couldn't help but frown when Emma would answer but would always say something that made it look as if it didn't matter, as if she didn't matter.

They finished breakfast and went shopping, Emma always being concerned that Regina wasn't spending too much but Regina said that if she was going to be her foster mom, she would buy her all she needed.

* * *

So they settle on to a routine, Emma being each day more comfortable at Regina's house and at calling her Regina. Almost six months had passed and Emma knew that Regina would be able to fill a request of adoption soon, and because of that she was determined to not ruin her chance of having a family.

But also, with those almost six months the colder months arrived and Emma had the flu. But she didn't want to tell Regina because that would mean going to the doctor, buying medicines and in general being a burden. So she kept quiet, she had been able to since she hadn't had any fever for the first two days but on the third day she woke up feeling extremely hot.

She went down to have breakfast. "Good morning mo- Regina." Emma greeted her, giving her a peek on the cheek. She had recovered quickly, but she had been very close to call Regina "mom".

"Good morning Emma." Regina said, while trying to not let the tears fall. Emma was just about to call her mom and she couldn't be happier; the six-month deadline between being a foster mom and becoming the adoptive one was almost up and she would like to talk to Emma about how she would feel to being adopted.

Regina looked at the blonde girl and noticed that she was paler than usual. "Emma, are you feeling alright?" Regina asked, concern laced in her voice.

"Yes, I'm fine." Emma lied. Just then, Emma look at the clock and realized she had only minutes left so that she could catch the bus to school. "I have to go to the bus stop. I'll see you later mo-Regina." Emma winced, that was the second time in one morning.

"Okay honey, but remember if you're not feeling well, tell a teacher and I'll be there to pick you up." Regina said.

"Yes, bye. See you later." Emma said and she was out of the door, wincing from the embarrassment of almost calling Regina mom and the fever.

During school, Emma had been slowly feeling worse but wouldn't tell anyone, even after all the friends she had made and the teachers asked her. However, it was during gym class when the teacher made them run that she just fell as the world was spinning and then, nothing.

* * *

Regina was in the Mayor's office, doing all the paperwork that involved when being the mayor but she couldn't seem to focus worrying about Emma. Something didn't feel right. That's when her phone rang.

"Mayor Mills." Regina answered, not even bothering to look at who was calling.

"Miss Mills? I'm calling about Emma." The person on the other side of the line said.

"What? What's wrong? Did something happen?" Regina was already gathering her things so she could go out of the office any moment.

"Emma lost consciousness today during gym class, we took her to the nurse but she told us that she had a 104º fever and we took her to the hospital. She's right there but-" Regina didn't let the teacher finish, she had already hung up and rushed to the hospital.

* * *

Emma woke up and she didn't recognize where she was. Then she looked around and saw that she was in some sort of room that resembled a hospital; then she felt a weight on her right side and saw Regina with her head bowed and heard her sniffling.

"Regina?" Emma asked in a raspy voice. At that, Regina looked up and saw Emma awake and couldn't help the tears forming in her eyes.

"Oh Emma, I was so scared. Why didn't you tell me anything?" Regina said while engulfing Emma in a hug.

Emma shrugged, she didn't know how she could explain everything to Regina. Not without blowing up her chance of getting adopted.

"Emma, I want to talk to you about something." Regina said, seeing Emma lying there made her feel every bit of a mom, and she needed everyone to know that Emma was her daughter, not just her foster daughter.

Emma's eyes widened, Regina was going to send her back. Tears started to well up in her eyes. "Please don't send me back, please don't, this has been the best home I've ever had. I'll pay you for whatever you're paying with me being here but please don't send me back to the system." Emma pleaded between sobs.

"Emma, Emma calm down. Who said anything about you being sent back? What are you talking about?" Regina asked, caressing the blonde's cheek; maybe she would know why Emma held herself back every time she did something, even if that something was anything but wrong. She was rubbing gentle, and what she hoped would be, soothing circles on the girl's arms.

"I'm being a burden, and I don't want to be one. If I'm one, then you'll send me back and you won't adopt me. I love you, this has been the best home ever and I wanted you to adopt me but now you won't, I can still be your foster daughter if you don't want to adopt me but please don't send me back." Emma sobbed.

Regina cried along with Emma, this poor girl had gone through a lot but she hoped with what she was about to say, Emma would be finally be herself. In the six months she had had her she had seen glimpses of the real Emma. The Emma that said silly jokes just to make Regina laugh, the Emma that believed in fairytales and happy endings, the Emma that hated math but loved history, and now, the Emma that wanted to be her daughter.

"Emma, do you know what I was going to say?" Emma shacked her head, though she was pretty sure what Regina was going to say. "What I was going to say, was to ask you how you felt about me adopting you?" Regina said with a soft smile between her tears.

"Are you serious?" Emma asked, she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Emma, I want to be your mother, not your foster mom, but your mom. That's if, you want me as a mother too." Regina slowly said. At Emma's silence for a moment she thought that the girl didn't want her to adopt her but that wouldn't make much sense would it?

"So, can I call you 'mom' now?" Emma said just barely above a whisper. This had to be a dream, any moment now Regina would say something and shatter everything.

"Yes Emma, you can call me mom." Regina said, with tears running down but with a smile on her face.

"'Mom'" Emma paused for a moment. "I like the sound of that." Emma said with a giggle.

Regina chuckled. "Yeah Emma, me too." Regina said and gave Emma the best hug the girl had ever received.

"I love you, mom." Emma whispered into Regina's hair.

"I love you too, my princess." Regina answered.


	10. Why didn't you tell me? (Because I was scared)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here's a new one-shot. Hope you like it and thanks for reading.
> 
> All mistakes are mine.
> 
> TW for mentions of miscarriage and marital abuse.

Regina stared at the stick in her hand, sitting on top of the lid of the toilet in her bathroom. She knew what she was seeing but there was no way it could be true. As long as the laws of biology said, there was no way she and Emma could have conceived a baby. Secondly, she had taken that stupid potion back in the Enchanted Forest. So, technically, there was no way. But then, True Love's magic made everything possible.

But here she was, with a stick with a plus sign on telling her she was pregnant. Regina had been staring at it for what felt for ages, believing that if she dared look anywhere else, the plus sign would disappear.

After some more minutes or what felt like hours, Regina finally stepped out of her trance and allowed her emotions that had been bubbling inside to flow free. Of course, there was happiness and excitement, anxiousness and nerves were coursing through her veins of actually being pregnant; just the thought that there was a life being created inside her. She was imagining a little her and Emma, whether her baby girl (because of course, to that the laws of biology did apply) would have blonde or brown hair; her eyes if they would be hazel as hers or that emerald green she so loved. She imagined how Emma would teach her how to fight, how to defend herself and Emma just being the amazing mother she was.

But with that last thought, fear made her way. When Regina was married to the King and performing her wife duties, she had actually been pregnant two times. Both of them ending in a miscarriage, just short of her 12 weeks. The King of course had blamed her and what if those miscarriages were actually her fault? No, she couldn't tell Emma she was pregnant, because what would happen if she told Emma but then with her history of never gotten a pregnancy to term, if this miracle pregnancy would also end that way. Regina was sure Emma would blame her, why wouldn't she? And if she was unable to protect her daughter where she supposedly was safe, how would she even begin to think that she would be able to protect once she was born?

She would wait. She hopes that this will be a pregnancy she could carry to term. She needed it to be. She wiped away a lonely tear that made its way down her cheek. Regina touched lightly her flat tummy and closed her eyes.

"Please, please survive. I need you to be strong." Regina whispered to her unborn daughter, although she knew that she still couldn't hear her.

Regina had made an appointment with Whale in case the test came back positive and fortunately enough, Emma had left early to go the Sheriff's office for the morning shift. She quickly showered, got ready and then she was on her way to the hospital.

When she arrived, a nurse promptly guided her to an examination room and Regina made sure that she was to keep this secret. She didn't want this to be the next gossip that circled around Storybrooke. Even less if Emma didn't know.

"So Madam Mayor, how are we on this fine morning?" Whale said when he entered the room.

"Whale, can we get done with this?" Regina hissed.

"Of course Madam Mayor." Whale replied and put himself to draw blood.

"This is just so we are a hundred percent sure and that everything is looking alright. But since you already took a test a home, we might as well do the vaginal exam." Whale said.

Regina couldn't feel more uncomfortable with Whale looking down there but she guessed that it was still too early to use the ultrasound.

"Well, it looks you're approx. 8 weeks pregnant and everything is as it should be. And if we're lucky, we may hear her heartbeat." Whale said and Regina put all her attention with the hopes of hearing the heartbeat.

The room was deadly silent until the sound of the heartbeat filled the room. Regina couldn't contain the tears that were flowing down her cheeks. It was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. Everything was perfect in that moment until she remembered the real question she wanted to ask Whale.

"What are the probabilities of miscarriage?" Regina asked in a too serious tone for such a moment, but she couldn't allow herself to have hope for something that may not become real.

"At this point of pregnancy, the risk of having a miscarriage is actually less than 5% but I'm guessing this isn't your first pregnancy?" Whale said and watch how Regina gave an almost imperceptible nod and Whale knew exactly what prompted the question. Regina was glad she wouldn't have to elaborate much on the topic. "Well, in that case the probabilities are between 20% and 30%. So yes, you have a slightly major risk of having a miscarriage but I would advise you not to worry." Whale said and before Regina could interrupt he added. "Thinking that this pregnancy will end like the others isn't going to help you."

"Regina, you have Emma. Talk to her about this." Whale said while taking out his gloves. "I'll see you in a month for the next appointment. I'll go quickly to print you a picture of your baby." Whale stated and returned not even five minutes later while Regina gathered her things.

When he handed Regina the picture of her child, tears started to flow freely. She had to thank this world for their technology that allowed her to see her child inside her womb.

"I promise I will do everything in my power to keep you safe." Regina whispered while putting a hand on top of her still-flat belly.

Regina had to thank every god in the sky that Emma was a heavy sleeper, because for the nest few weeks, her morning sickness had been acting up and that would be a little difficult to explain to Emma. And she was sure the sound of her vomiting and the constant sound of flushing the toilet could be heard in the mansion, and she never thought that she would thank the heavens that Henry had inherited her mother's ability to sleep through anything.

Besides from that, everything had been going quite smoothly. You had to put a lot of effort in order to see the change in Regina's belly and Emma certainly didn't notice when they were having sex.

The week before, she had gone to her 3-month appointment and Whale told her everything was looking fine and she was finally glad of having reached the 12-week mark and now was making plans to tell Emma and Henry of their new addition to the family. But, god forbids that something goes quite accordingly to a plan in her life.

The three of them were heading to Grany's for their weekly Saturday breakfast, when Regina spotted the two idiots. Even though, she now thinks of them with a little more affection, she still thinks they are sometimes just two idiots, making everything worse than it originally was. Little did Regina know that this would be a premise that would happen today.

Henry bounced off to greet her grandparents while Emma put a supporting hand on Regina's back, because she knew that her relationship with her parents was still quite new. Regina appreciated the gesture.

"Hi guys." Emma greeted them.

"Hi Emma. Hello Regina." Snow replied. She had accepted their relationship but there would always some animosity there. "How are you…" Snow trailed off when she caught something in Regina.

The brunette looked as perfect as always so it wasn't that; something felt off. Then she caught Regina's hand that had at some point come to rest to her lower abdomen and that was when Snow saw the glow in Regina. People didn't lie, pregnant woman did have a glow. Snow's eyes widened in surprise.

Everyone had stopped to look curiously at Snow, even Charming because this was an unusual behavior.

"Regina, are you pregnant?" Snow asked bewildered, not thinking for one second about the consequence that question might have.

Regina stiffened and instinctively put both of her hands in front of her belly, as if the action could somehow protect her child, even if there wasn't any apparent danger. But at Snow's question, Emma took her hand off Regina. Regina felt her world starting to shatter.

"What?" Emma asked; she didn't miss the movement of Regina's hand and that was all the confirmation she needed. She just needed to know how and when and why had Regina kept it a secret. It wasn't that Emma believed that Regina had cheated on her, because she had read and asked Gold about the possibilities of two magical women who happened to share true love, making a baby.

Everyone was looking expectantly at her, with varying degrees of confusion including Henry. But she knew Emma, and knew that the blonde was putting a lot of effort not to let her anger control her.

But she couldn't face them and instead, with a flick of her wrist she poofed herself home.

She appeared in their bedroom, though she was beginning to question if by the end of the day it would still be theirs. Regina couldn't imagine what must be going on through Emma's head; certainly not that this baby was a miracle for Regina and the product of True Love.

Regina sat on the edge of the bed, taking in her hands the picture that was on her nightstand. It was their wedding day and both of them couldn't look any happier; the photo was taken when they were sharing their first dance as a married couple, it had been a soft waltz, and the photographer had taken the exact moment where both of their foreheads were touching, while their eyes remained closed and with a soft smile that was all the proof anyone needed to see that these two women loved each other with everything they had.

She let a few tears fall down, put the photo back where it belonged and put her hands around her belly, bowing her head. Damn it Snow and her big mouth.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Regina whispered to her unborn daughter, because she had been a fool to believe that she could have her happy ending. During their first months dating, she had been waiting for the other shoe to drop but as time continued to pass on and everything seemed fine and she was happy, she actually forgot that there would possibly be a time where her happy ending would shatter in front of her eyes.

She sensed Emma's magic, so she looked up to find the blonde in question standing perfectly still in front of her.

"How long?" Was the only thing Emma asked. Regina could see the inner turmoil that was taking place inside her wife's mind.

Regina took a deep breath and wiped a few tears before responding. "I have known for a month now and I'm 12 weeks." Regina replied; she would answer all her wife's questions with complete honesty in an attempt to keep her family from breaking apart.

"So you have known you're pregnant for a month and decided that it was the best to keep that a secret? From your wife?" Emma said, with her tone gradually becoming angrier and louder.

"I'm sorry Emma but…"

"No! You don't get to be sorry." Emma half-screamed while pointing a finger towards her wife. "We promised each other that we wouldn't keep secrets from each other and what did you decide to do? Exactly that!"

"So imagine my surprise when my mother asks you if you're pregnant and I see the way you out your hands on your belly. I mean, it's bad enough that my wife didn't tell that but my mother? So what? Did you decide that I should wait until you were five months pregnant and then I would know? Or maybe when you were in labor?" Emma angrily said, with sarcasm dripping off her voice. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I was scared!" Regina replied, allowing more tears to fall down.

"That I wouldn't believe you? Regina, I've known for a long time that we could make a baby together and-" Emma started before Regina interrupted her.

Regina shacked her head. "Because this baby is a miracle." Regina said barely above a whisper. Emma just looked at her with confusion written on her face. Regina took a deep breath before continuing explaining. "In the Enchanted Forest the two pregnancies I had with the Kind ended in a miscarriage and after I killed him, I drank a potion that made me barren. But I guess True Love's Kiss does break any curse." Regina stopped for a second to swallow the lump in throat. "I was more worried that this pregnancy would also end in a miscarriage, because then how would I be able to look at you knowing that I couldn't keep our baby safe? How could I look at you when all you would see in me was that? How would you ever forgive me?" Regina explained, her voice breaking at those questions and dreading the answer that Emma would give her.

Emma moved to kneel in front of Regina, taking her hands and rubbing soft circles on top of them with her thumbs. Emma had always hated Leopold ever since Regina told her about him, she didn't care if she was biologically related to him; she would never tell Regina or her mother for that matter that she was glad that Regina had killed him. All her anger had been completely erased when Regina started to explain, her face softened and her eyes now bore a look of complete understanding, love and admiration.

"Regina, I would have never blame you for something that you wouldn't have had control over. I understand completely where you're coming from but I wish you would have told me because then you wouldn't have had to be alone. We're in this together okay?" Emma softly tells Regina while moving one hand to wipe away the few tears that were still falling down. "I love you and nothing could ever change that." Emma added and stood up to sit next to Regina, opened her arms and allowed Regina to rest on her chest. They stood like that for a few minutes until Regina's tears had finally stopped.

Emma moved a hand to Regina's belly and noticed that indeed there was a small barely-noticeable bump. "So, there's a baby in there?" Emma asked with a grin on her face.

Regina chuckled. "Yes, our daughter is in there." Regina replied and put a hand on top of Emma's. Emma looks at her with excitement and finally, the tears came down her cheeks.

They laid down on the bed and before Emma could spoon Regina, pulled up Regina's shirt just enough so that the bump was now visible and kiss it softly. Today had been an exhausting day for both of them, sleep was now to crawl on them because everything could wait. If they had been content with the way their life was, now they were more than happy with their daughter on the way. For now, everything was perfect.


	11. Sorry for not bein enough

Emma was happily sitting in the living room, making some drawings so she could show them to Regina. Regina had been her foster mom for a little over six months, and Emma desperately hoped that Regina would adopt her.

 

This had been the longest she had stayed in with a foster mom and she loved Regina with all her heart. The little eight-year old couldn’t wait to call Regina ‘mommy’. This had been the best foster home so far; she really didn’t want to get back to the group home.

 

Currently, she was drawing a picture of her and Regina, with the word ‘family’ on top of it. Emma knew it wouldn’t be the best drawing Regina would have ever seen, she had seen other kids draw better than her in school but she was quite proud of her drawing and hopes Regina would like it.

 

She finished coloring and went to Regina’s office to show it to her.

 

“Regina?” Emma asked when she entered the office, She saw Regina with a frown on her face staring at her laptop and then tapping away furiously. “Regina?” Emma asked again a little louder when Regina didn’t respond her.

 

“Regina?” Emma asked for a third time and this time Regina did answer but it was not what Emma had expected.

 

“Emma, not now! Can’t you see that I’m busy?” Regina snapped maybe a little too harsh, finally tearing her eyes from her laptop, but she had grown quite frustrated between the email she was answering, questioning how the people in Storybrooke could be complete morons and Emma’s constant asking. It wasn’t Emma’s fault but this was certainly not a good time.

 

However, Emma was stunned with the way Regina replied. Regina had never used that tone with her and honestly, it reminded her of the not so good foster homes where if you stepped over the line just for a little, there would be a bruise on her arm or ribs.

 

“I’m sorry.” Emma whispered and quietly closed the door behind her. Her eyes were beginning to tear up, but she didn’t want Regina to see them; she didn’t want to piss off Regina even more with her crying.

 

She left her drawing on the table in the living room and quickly went upstairs to her bedroom. It has a habit she had developed in every house she had been: she would go her room or the room she shared with other foster siblings in order to not step on the way of the foster parents. There was less chance that she would get yelled at or used as a punching bag if she stayed out of their ways. And so she sat quietly on top of her bed, not even daring to play with the toys Regina had bought them because she didn’t want to make any noise. 

* * *

 

She didn’t know how much time had passed but she had gotten thirsty, and so she padded down the hall and down the stairs as quietly as she could, went to the kitchen, got herself a glass of water and returned quietly to her bedroom. But on her way to the stairs, the door to Regina’s was slightly ajar, probably when Regina went to the kitchen or to the bathroom at some point in the afternoon. What she heard, she hadn’t expected it at all and much less from Regina.

 

 _“Ruby when did I decide that becoming a foster mom was a good idea? I don’t even know what I’m going to do with Emma…”_ Emma heard Regina say to Ruby on her phone and Emma couldn’t hear anymore.

 

She practically ran up the stairs, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. When she reached her bedroom, she closed the door not minding if the door made a noise and started packing her things. Emma really shouldn’t have allowed herself to have hope that Regina would adopt her.  She should have realized that it was too good to be true. The worst of all, is that she didn’t knew what she had done in order to make Regina make the decision to send her back, because that’s what she would probably do if the conversation Emma heard was of any help.

 

She went through her clothes and only grabbed the ones that Regina hadn’t bought her. Maybe Regina would get another little girl and she could give her the clothes. Emma grabbed her toothbrush because she knew that not all the group homes had spare toothbrushes and the little blonde girl realized that she would have to pay Regina for the toothbrush. She went through all her pockets and through her backpack searching for the couple dollar Regina gave her for Friday so Emma could buy lunch at school.

 

That was going to be one thing she would miss the most from Regina. The delicious meals she prepared and how she always made sure that Emma had a healthy lunch for school; Fridays were just an exception.

 

She found the dollars and put them on the nightstand. She grabbed her baby blanket that had her name sewed on it and waited for Regina to come to tell her that her social worker would be there soon. She sat down on her bed and probably from all the exhaustion of crying and packing up, she fell asleep, wondering what she had done wrong.

* * *

 

Regina finally finished the call with Ruby, one of her few friends in Storybrooke. Today had certainly been a rough day ad the guilt from having snapped at Emma was eating her up. Her work had been stressful enough when apparently everyone decided to send her mails complaining about things she couldn’t do anything about, putting her in a bad mood. Then, when she went to Granny’s to grab her lunch, she managed to listen to one conversation of one of the patrons in the dinner about how they weren’t sure Regina could perform the Mayoral duties while being a foster mom to Emma. And instead of the comment making Regina roll her eyes, it made Regina question her abilities of being a good mother.

 

She wanted to talk to Emma about adopting her but now, the self-doubt was more present than ever and wondered if it was actually a good idea. All she could hear after that, was her mother’s voice telling her how she couldn’t do anything right. She thought nothing more could ruin her day but then, after she had picked up Emma from school and went home, more mails were coming in and she tried too hard not to let her frustration to show up in the mails she was replying but it was actually quite difficult and Emma had come in, asking or her over and over again and between everything, she had snapped at her.

 

She closed her eyes, remembering the hurt and sad look on Emma’s face when she whispered the ‘I’m sorry’ and quietly closed the door. She kept working, going quickly to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water, until she had to vent everything to someone and that’s when she called Ruby.

 

_“Ruby, when did I decide that becoming a foster mom was a good idea? I don’t even know what I’m going to do with Emma if it turns out that there could be someone much better to be her mom? What if she doesn’t want me to adopt her?” By this point, Regina was openly crying._

_“Regina, you decided that being a foster mom was the first step before you could adopt and don’t start me with not being a good mom. Emma loves you, just as much as you love her. And I could almost bet that Emma wants nothing more than to be adopted by you. So, stop second guessing yourself and talk to Emma about being adopted.” Ruby tried to sooth Regina as much as she could over the phone._

_Regina continued to sob for a few more moments until she gathered herself and could actually talk. “Yeah, I love her with all my heart. Thank you Ruby.” Regina said, grateful that she had ruby for those moments of self-doubt._

_“You’re welcome Regina. Remember that I’m always here if you need anything.” Ruby said and then both of them finished the call._

Regina felt significantly better after having vent to Ruby. She released a sigh of relief when she closed her laptop for the day and went looking for Emma to ask her what she wanted for dinner and to apologize for the way she had snapped at her. She had never talked to Emma that way and she was feeling horrible about, knowing about certain foster homes Emma had been.

 

First, she went searching to the living room, where she found the drawing Emma had made earlier. Regina smiled fondly at what she saw, tracing with her finger the letters that spelled the word ‘family’, her heart filling with warmth at the prospect that Emma already considered the two of them family. Seeing no blonde hair anywhere, she went upstairs to Emma’s bedroom and the sight that welcomed her made her heart break.

 

Curled up with her baby blanket on top of the bed, was Emma. Regina knew this was a bad sign since Emma only curled up with her blanket when she was feeling scared. Regina thought back to the moment she had snapped at the little girl and remembered the way Emma’s eyes had widened in fear of Regina could do. Regina mentally kicked herself for drawing out that type of reaction from Emma.

 

The next thing she noticed was Emma’s backpack filled with the first clothes she had come with. Why would Emma pack those clothes? She had bought more and better clothes for her the very next day after she became her foster daughter.  

 

She walked to Emma’s bed and kneeled next to her, noticing the way there were tear tracks on her cheeks. Regina’s heart clench at the prospect of being the cause of those tears.

 

“Emma? Sweetheart, wake up.” Regina softly said while shaking Emma a little bit. She put a golden lock that had fallen, covering Emma’s face, behind her ear. After a few moments, Emma woke up, eyes widening when she remembered why Regina would be here.

 

Tears started to flow. “I’m sorry Regina. I-I don’t know what I did wrong but I’m sorry.” Emma said between hiccups. “I’ll go downstairs to wait for my social worker.” Emma’s voice seemed so little and so hurt and so vulnerable. Emma moved to get herself up but Regina’s firm hands stopped her.

 

“Social worker? Emma, what are you talking about?” Regina asked frantically, cupping Emma’s cheeks and trying to wipe the tears off.

 

“I know that you’re going to send me back. I-I hear you talking to Ruby.” Emma whispered, avoiding looking directly to Regina’s warm hazel eyes.

 

“Emma, what did you hear?” Regina asked, worried that Emma might have not have heard the entire conversation and was now making to worst possible scenario up in her head.

 

“That you didn’t know when you decided that being a foster mom was a good idea and that you don’t know what you’re going to do with me.” Emma muttered and wiped hastily her tears. “I’m so sorry Regina. I left the clothes you bought for me in the closet and I packed the toothbrush but I left you money so you could buy a new one.” Emma explained.

 

Regina’s heart clenches through every word of the explanation but she didn’t understand why Emma had left all her clothes there. “But why did you leave all your clothes? Didn’t you like them?” Regina softly said, still kneeling in front of Emma and brushing with her hands Emma’s golden locks.

 

“I did, but maybe you’ll adopt another little girl. One that will be a better daughter. And you can give all the clothes to her.” Emma finally look up to Regina. She would have been the perfect mom, but maybe she wasn’t the daughter Regina wanted but someone else will be. Even though she was eight-years old, the system forced you to grow up and mature quite quickly. “I know you’ll be the best mom ever. I love you Regina. I’ll go downstairs.” Emma said after a few moments.

 

Regina didn’t let Emma move and instead engulfed hear in a hug. Tears were flowing down her cheeks too. “Oh Emma, I’m not going to send you back to the system. I love you too and what you heard isn’t what you think.” Regina said.

 

She pulled back and look directly into Emma’s emerald eyes. “Today I let a few insecurities of mine to show up and of them is not being the mom you deserve. I have wanted to ask for some time how would you feel if I adopted you? Because I love you with all my heart and I would be extremely glad to be your mom, because I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter than you.”

 

“You really mean that?” Emma said, eyes full of wonder.

 

“Yes.” Regina answered.

 

Emma jumped to give Regina hug before whispering. “I love you, mommy.”

 

Regina let out a sob at hearing that last little word that contained so much emotion and meant the world to Regina. “I love you too Emma.”


	12. You'll always be beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Much feels about Regina feeling insecure and Emma being there for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont' even know what is this but I hope you like it anyway. Be prepared for many feels.
> 
> All mistakes are mine.
> 
> On with the show.

Emma is slowly trying to get up after something had woken her up. She rubes her eyes, trying to take away the fuzzy feeling in her eyes and turns her head to the clock on the bedside table and read 3:46 in the morning. She pads her hand towards the other side of the bed where Regina is supposedly to be on but finds it empty.

It is then that she realizes that most likely their three-months old baby girl had woken up for a feeding and Regina had gone to feed her. She doesn't know what woken her up but normally she wouldn't be awake at this hour, even if Regina had gone to feed their baby; there could be an apocalypse and most likely, Emma would probably don't even know.

She gets to a sitting position to wait for Regina and then, they can cuddle up for another couple of hours of sleep until their baby needs a diaper change of another feeding. She loves to be the big spoon but lately, Regina hasn't allowed to touch her stomach, or have sex for that matter, and Emma knows it is because Regina feels insecure with the weight she gained during her pregnancy.

The worst part of all, is that Emma hasn't found a perfect time to show Regina that she will always see the most beautiful woman in her, no matter if she hasn't been able to lose all the baby weight.

The door finally cracks open and Emma sees a sleepy Regina making her way towards the bed, her shirt is slightly ridden up and Emma can her stomach. It's that moment that Regina sees that Emma is awake and her eyes widen.

Normally, Emma is always asleep when she goes back to bed after the 3 am feeding and she is less careful on making sure her shirt covers all of her upper body. She looks down and sees her shirt ridden up and Emma surely had seen her stomach. She quickly covers it and turns her back towards Emma, because she can't bare to look at her wife and see the face of disgust that will surely be there. She covers her stomach with both of her hands because how is her wife going to find her attractive when she hasn't lost any of the pregnancy weight? She is so ashamed because now Emma will not touch her and there's a few things that can top the loving touch of her wife.

Tears are threatening to spill from her eyes. God, why hadn't she made sure that her shirt covered her?

"I'm sorry Emma. I'm really trying to lose the weight. I really am. I promise I will try to work out harder." Regina says between sobs. "I understand if you don't want to cuddle. Or touch me for that matter." Regina added with a sad sigh. She knew this would happen sooner or later, but it didn't make it hurt less knowing that your wife didn't see you as the attractive woman you once were.

Regina never regretted the fact that she had been the one that had gotten pregnant and certainly not their beautiful daughter. She knew Emma loved them both, but she was also self-conscious of how her body had changed during and after her pregnancy. She heard the sheets being thrown over the bed and the mattress cringing a bit and Regina knew that Emma had gotten up.

The next thing she knew was that there were a pair of strong arms encircling her from behind and covering her own arms. She felt Emma's head on top of her right shoulder.

"Let me show you something." Emma whispered and led Regina to their daughter's nursery. Regina furrowed her brows in confusion. Emma opened the door, and they both carefully stepped in. they didn't walk all the way to the crib, fearing that they would wake up their daughter.

Again, Emma hugged Regina from behind and this time her arms were touching Regina's stomach. Regina almost shrugged them off but Emma kept them there.

"You see that little beautiful baby girl? The one that has blonde hair but those hazel eyes I love so much? The one that we made because we have True Love? Thanks to the changes of your body, she was able to grow, to nurture herself for ninth months before she was ready to meet her mommies." Emma softly whispered.

Regina was openly crying, hearing the beautiful words Emma was saying. What did she do to have Emma by her side?

"Come." Emma whispered and Regina let her lead her wherever they were headed. When Regina saw the bathroom, she tensed up and Emma felt it. The blonde just wished that Regina wouldn't put all of her walls.

They stood silently in front of the mirror for a couple of minutes. Regina might have accepted that the changes were necessary but it didn't make her feel any less insecure about them. Reflected in the mirror, she saw how Emma began to roll up her shirt just below her breasts.

"Do you see these stretch marks? I don't feel ashamed about them, even if they remind of when I was in prison and had to give Henry up. Do you think they make me less attractive?" Emma softly asked.

"No, you're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." Regina answered.

Emma walked behind Regina once more and started rolling her shirt up. Regina closed her eyes but let Emma uncover her stomach.

"Open your eyes Regina." Emma said and Regina opened them. "You are beautiful and you'll always will be to me. It's true that you haven't lost the baby weight but I don't care. Because even if you didn't lose any of it, you would still be as attractive and as beautiful to me as you always have been. But your body isn't the only thing that makes you beautiful; the spark in your eyes when you're looking at our daughter or at Henry, your intelligence, your sass, everything about you, inside and outside is beautiful."

Regina turned around to see directly into Emma's eyes. "Thank you." Regina whispered and hugged Emma with all her might.

"You're beautiful Regina, always remember that." Emma whispered, while drawing soothing circles on Regina's back.

They went back to bed, cuddled up and slept, both of them with a soft smile on their faces.


	13. If I love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people in the internet! Here's a new prompt which I hope you like. For those reading "I'll always love you" I promise to start working on the next chapter and I'm so sorry for the wait.
> 
> All mistakes are mine
> 
> On with the show.

Emma takes a deep breath before entering the Mayor's office, with a bouquet of red Chrysanthemums in her hand. Today, she finally gathered the courage to ask Regina on a date. She enters the office and is greeted by Regina's secretary Laura.

"Hi Laura, is the Mayor free?" Emma nervously asks.

"Hey Emma, and yes." Laura smiles softly eyeing the bouquet in Emma's hand and cannot but be happy for the Mayor, as she has seen both the stolen glances between Emma and Regina.

Emma also smiles, the nerves obviously plastered on her face. "Here we go." Emma whispers for herself before opening the door to Regina's office.

Regina doesn't look up from her computer, as she knows that the only person who doesn't bother to knock is Emma. Sometimes she thinks how it would be to be with Emma, to kiss her, to simply be with her. But she cannot allow herself to love, or more accurately, she doesn't want Emma to love her because being with Regina is like a curse in itself. And Emma deserves so much better, someone who wasn't an Evil Queen back in the Enchanted Forest. And she also cannot put Emma at risk, because Regina knows that if another monster or villain came into town and wanted to hurt Regina, they would go after Emma. She cannot allow that.

"Regina?" Emma asks. Moving her weight from one foot to another.

Regina looks up and tries as best as she can to hide the shock of seeing Emma with a bouquet in her hand. And Regina is sure what will happen next. _I'm so sorry Emma._ Regina thinks.

"Would you like to go on a date with me?" Emma asks with the goofy smile Regina adores so much. Tears start pooling in hazel eyes but Regina quickly gathers herself.

"With you?" Regina chuckles dryly. "Please Emma, why would I go on a date with you?" Regina says and she is not sure who's heart just broke more, hers or Emma's.

Emma looked so hurt and Regina has to remain as stoic as ever, she has to remind herself that what she is doing is for Emma's protection. "Right, umm. I'm sorry Regina." Emma practically runs out of Regina's office, wiping her eyes but the tears don't stop, throwing the bouquet in Laura's trashcan, ignoring the way Laura looks so confused by the state in which Emma got out from the office.

Meanwhile, inside the office Regina lets her face fall between her hand, sobs coming out and a constant stream of tears falling from her eyes.

* * *

Had she read the signals wrong? Did all the stolen glances mean nothing at all? Emma practically run all the way to the loft, hoping that her parents wouldn't be there. Emma had thought that her biggest obstacle to being with Regina were going to be her parents, but they turned out to be surprisingly supportive when she told them that the person she loved was Regina. Mary Margaret had even said that she had never seen Regina as happy as she was when she was with Emma. Not even with Daniel.

But now, Emma had not only faced her fear of rejection but had probably ruined her only true friendship. Emma didn't know which hurt worse.

Opening the door to the loft, Emma sees her mother sitting in one of the stools in the kitchen with a hopeful smile which quickly turns into a frown of worry at seeing her daughter's face.

Mary Margaret doesn't waste a moment to engulf Emma in a hug while Emma just lets herself cry. Mary Margaret rubs soothingly her hands on Emma's back.

"What happened?" Mary Margaret carefully asks.

"She said no. Because how could she be with someone like me?" Emma explained between sobs. "Or maybe it was more like how could she be with me?" Emma sniffed and wiped a few tears. "I'm going to my room." Emma was glad that Henry was staying at the mansion, that way she could lock herself up in her room and wonder not for the first time if she had lost just another important person in her life.

Mary Margaret downstairs was fuming with anger. Not only because Regina had hurt her daughter but also because she couldn't understand why Regina refused to be happy, refused to love and be loved in return. She checked the clock but it was already past business hours and she didn't want to go to make a scene where Henry was so she would have to wait for tomorrow to kick some sense into Regina's brain.

Next morning, Emma still hadn't come out of her bedroom and that worried Mary Margaret even more. She had never seen her daughter so broken, and she doubt she felt like this with Neal or with Walsh. Mary Margaret smiled sadly, because she could see how much Emma loved Regina and with a determined face she got out of the loft so Regina didn't destroy her happy ending and that of her daughter.

* * *

Regina entered her office, her eyes still puffy from crying herself to sleep. Henry even had asked her what had happened because he could see that she had been crying before getting home. Regina could have sworn she had seen Henry sigh in frustration and was most certain that he knew about her feelings for his other mother. Besides, no one had the power to bring out those kind of feelings and reactions but Henry and Emma.

She now wondered what would she do. Emma would probably hate her or at least all the movie nights would stop as well as their daily lunch. If there was one thing she regretted with all her might, was the fact that she wasn't brave enough to actually pursue her happy ending. Regina was scared, but not because she thought that Emma could possibly break her heart but because she couldn't bare see Emma hurt because of her.

Just as she was starting to go through her paperwork, the door suddenly opened making Regina to jump a little. Entering her office, was a very angry Mary Margaret followed by an apologetic Laura.

"I'm sorry Miss Mills but she ignored me." Laura tried to explain.

"Don't worry Laura. Please close the door on your way out." Regina said and Laura nodded, promptly leaving the office.

"To what do I owe this displeasure Mary Margaret?" Regina asked in her best regal tone, though the puffy red eyes were giving out the whole act.

"How dare you Regina? How dare you hurt my daughter? How dare you be so incredibly selfish?" Mary Margaret firmly said, anger evident in her voice.

"Do you think I wanted that? Do you think that I actually wanted to hurt Emma? And why was it selfish? I'm trying to give Emma a better chance, she deserves someone far better than me." Regina angrily said, tears threatening to spill but she wouldn't cry in front of Mary Margaret.

"To me, it sounds more like you are afraid to be happy. You are afraid to allow yourself to love. If you're worried about Emma, she is a grown up woman, she can make her own choices and believe me, she will never love someone as much as she loves you. Where is the woman I know Regina?" Mary Margaret said more softly but the anger was still clearly present.

Knowing this was a lost battle, Regina took a defeated breath and allowed a few tears to fall. "All I want is for Emma to be happy. I love her so much that the simple thought of her being hurt pains me. But being realistic Mary Margaret, she deserves so much better than a reformed Evil Queen; one day, she will realize that and if by some miracle we were together, I would have to let her go. So really, I'm saving both of us the possibility of a heartbreak." Regina finished and gave a deep sigh.

"You remember that day when you were accused of murdering Archie?" Mary Margaret asked.

"Of course I remember." Regina answered, confused as to why her former enemy would ask her that. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Because Emma was the only one that believed you hadn't kill him. Yeah, then the whole debacle with your mother happened and the dream catcher but she was the only person that believed in you. While you were inside the questioning room, Emma said to David and I that for us you may have been the Evil Queen, but here you were just Regina." Mary Margaret explained, with a soft mile and watching in wonder how Regina's eyes shone with amazement and love for her daughter.

"Do you really believe that she'll still want me? After the way I rejected her?" Regina asked, between hopeful, frightened and nervous; or maybe it was a combination of the three.

"Of course she'll still want you." Mary Margaret said and turned to leave the office.

Before she could exit, she heard Regina saying her name. "Thank you." Regina muttered. Mary Margaret just have her a small smile and walked out of the office.

The very next day, Regina was standing in front of the loft, trying to muster up the courage to knock and ask to see Emma. The worst case scenario, Emma would yell at her to get out and she would be left heartbroken; best case scenario, Emma would give her the time to explain herself. Realistically, she isn't expecting that Emma would still agree to go on a date with her.

On one hand she was holding a bouquet of daffodils. After a few more minutes, she actually knocked and prayed that whatever happen, she wouldn't get to lose Emma from her life. She didn't care if they remained as friends but Emma was the only person that could understand her and was honest with her when she needed it; she can't imagine not having Emma in her life.

David opened the door and for a moment Regina is scared that he will be the overprotective dad he can be. But Regina keeps a straight face.

"Hello David, may I speak to Emma please?" Regina asked in her regal tone, inside however she was a nervous wreck.

"Of course." David said, as if she was not surprised that Regina had shown up. He moved to open completely the door and let Regina walk in.

As he was closing the door, he whispered to Regina. "You better not hurt her again." Regina's lips formed a half-smile. _There's the David I know._

"David!" Mary Margaret exclaimed, as she was able to hear what David had whispered to Regina.

David just raised his hands. "What? I don't care if she is our age, I can still be the overprotective dad." Both, Regina and Mary Margaret rolled their eyes.

From the corner of her eye she could see that Mary Margaret was giving her a confident and soft smile, which she appreciated. Regina made her way upstairs, took a deep breath and knocked on the door leading to Emma's room.

"I'm fine, mom." Regina heard Emma's muffled voice but even with the door acting as a barrier, she could still tell that Emma's voice was raspy, probably from the crying. _Gods Regina, what have you done?_

Regina dared to open the door and thank god it was unlocked and peaked her head inside. She saw Emma curled up in her bed with her baby blanket sniffling, her back turned to the door.

"Not your mom dear." Regina said, softly.

In an instant, Emma turned around to see if she hadn't just imagined that voice. At seeing Regina standing nervously half inside her room, half outside her eyes widened in surprise. "Regina, what are you doing here?" Emma asked.

"Can I come in?" Regina questioned.

Emma, too stunned to say anything else, just nodded and saw how Regina came into her room. If eyes could widen even more, hers would have at seeing Regina with a bouquet in her hand. Regina took a step in and sat on the corner of Emma's bed, eyes cast down to her feet.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened the other day." Regina began hesitantly.

"There's no need Regina, I'm used to it by now." Emma said, and it was true. All the way up to high school she was used to hear from the other kids why they would want to be with an orphan, with a clumsy nerd and many other adjectives. It changed from time to time but the meaning behind it was still very clear: nobody wanted to be with her. Of course, Regina saying it hurt ten times more but really, she should have expected it.

Regina let a few tears fall because she could now see the way she had hurt Emma; any chance of them fixing their relationship had flown out of the window. "I wanted to say sorry because what I said was wrong and was not the truth. I'm so sorry for the way I hurt you but I was trying to keep us both from getting a heartbreak."

Emma huffed. "I think the only one here with a heartbreak is me, so please do me a favor and get out of my room. I don't need any more of your pity." Emma answered and turned her back to Regina.

"I swear Emma, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you the way I did. God Emma, I wanted to say yes to your question more than anything. I was so scared of what would have happen if I had said yes." Regina let a single sob, before taking a deep breath band continue her explanation. "You deserve so much better than a former Evil Queen. And one day you would have realized that and you would have left."

Regina chuckled dryly. "I guess I was more scared for myself." Regina gave a deep sigh. "Anyway, I came here to say that and to see if there was a chance that I could say yes to your question, or maybe just go back to being friends with you because I can't imagine what not having you in my life would be like. But I know that was extremely naïve and I understand if you only wish a co-parenting relationship."

Regina got up from the bed, leaving the Daffodils behind. "I know what I did is unforgivable but I brought a bouquet of Daffodils, they mean 'I'm sorry'. I am sorry, Emma." Regina explained and walked to the door but before completely exiting she added almost in a whisper. "I love you Emma."

"Wait." Regina heard Emma mutter. "You know that if you had given me that explanation before I would have understood, don't you?"

Regina lowered her head in shame, because she did know. She nodded.

"And you know that if you had told me that, I would have told you that I can make my own decisions and that I have always seen you as Regina. So I need you to promise me that you will never hurt me like that again." Emma said firmly.

Regina nodded. "Yes, Emma. I promise. Again, I'm so sorry." Regina promised and walked once more to the door, wondering where their relationship stood. Regina would be thankful if Emma still greeted her everyday. The thoughts of a friendship or something more were now totally out of reach. She wiped a few tears. _Villains don't get happy endings._ The worst thing for Regina now, was that she was now responsible for it. She should've taken the chance when she could and taken a leap of heart and allowed herself to be happy.

"So, would you like to go on a date with me?" Regina heard Emma asked and almost gave herself a whiplash from the force she turned around.

"What?" Regina stammered. There's no way Emma could have actually asked her that. There should be another explanation of what she heard. Or did she hear that at all?

"I asked if you wanted to go on a date with me?" Emma said once more, her still puffy red from the crying but her goofy smile had returned and Regina wasn't sure if she had by some chance passed out and this all but a cruel dream.

"I-I-I…" Regina stammered. "You're actually asking me? This is not a game or some sort of revenge?" Regina nervously asked.

"Yes, I'm really asking you and no, this is not a joke. You still haven't answered my question." Emma responded.

"Yes, yes. I will go on a date with you." Regina answered while more tears streamed down her face.

Emma finally got up from her bed and moved to engulf Regina in a hug. Between each sob, Emma could listen to Regina alternating between saying 'I'm sorry' and 'Thank you'.

Emma led them to the bed, where the laid down and slept unitl next moring. These two days had been extremely exhausting for both of them and they deserved a rest. Neither of them could remember a time where they had actually slept that peacefully and feeling secure and at home.

Downstairs, Mary Margaret casted a knowing smile towards Emma's room.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to the reader who can tell me what red Chrysanthemum means. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think. If you have an idea in mind, don't hesitate in sending it to me :)


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